TOM: Welcome back, and we’re just in time for the 800 meter sideways cobblestick shuttlerun. With me, I have 1976 bronze medalist, Lucy Pinker. Lucy, what are we looking for today?

LUCY: Well, Tom, Hungary’s Bidrai Malouva is the favorite in this event, having taken gold in Sydney.

TOM: He’s more machine than man!

LUCY: Uh, well, sure…

TOM: But don’t count out the plucky American, Morgan Hurren. He gave Malouva a real run for his money in Sydney, finishing a very close 7th, and he’s been training exceptionally hard for this year’s games.

[Cut to exciting video package about Hurren and his various trials and tribulations as he trained to rival the preeminent sideways cobblestick shuttlerunner in the world. Morgan turns out to be a startlingly down-to-earth kid, and you get the sense that maybe, just maybe, he’s got a shot here. He’s plucky.]

TOM: And there he is, the Kansas kid who has the whole cobblestick shuttlerun world abuzz.

LUCY: And next to him in this first “stick” is none other than Bidrai Malouva.

TOM: The Hungarian - so poised. So deadly and efficient. So lacking in any discernible human emotion.

LUCY: Morgan looks pretty serious, too.

TOM: The kid’s locked in. He has his gameface on. He’s ready. And…. there they go!

LUCY: They’ve dropped the piddy, and everyone’s got to keep their eyes on their cobblesticks. Look at Malouva - so smooth. As we approach the first shuttlepick, it’s France’s Drusart, followed by the Nomorito of Japan, then Malouva, and Murren looking pretty strong but back in 8th place.

TOM: Murren’s got a lot of ground to make up if he wants to medal.

LUCY: Right now we’ve got a two-man battle between Nomorito and Malouva -

TOM: With the American, Hurren, keeping himself within striking distance.

LUCY: Well, Hurren’s gotten his cobblestick fouled on the trinky, so he’s not really going to be a factor.

TOM: And that’s a big controversy here in Athens - what affect does using the European trinkies have on American competitors? Is it fair?

[Pause]

LUCY: Coming to the final whipple, it’s Malouva -

TOM: - Anything less than a gold would be a disastrous dishonor in his country, where they demand nothing short of deadly efficiency from their cobblestickers. But let’s see if Hurren has enough left for one last surge. The crowd, urging him on. Listen to that.

LUCY: I think they’re cheering for the winners, Tom, who just finished. The final result -

TOM: And here comes Hurren - he’s gotten his cobblestick back in alignment, and he’s coming towards the last shuttlegate! What a run! He didn’t win, but he overcame enormous odds to… to…

LUCY: … to finish before the medal ceremony.

TOM: Right. Which is better than expected. Much better, and something Hurren can be proud of.

LUCY: I’ll tell you something about Malouva -

TOM: Sorry, but that’s all the time we have from the cobblegrounds. When we come back - Something we’re good at!