Well, it’s been several weeks since I last bragged shamelessly. You all must have been wondering if my normally outsized ego had suffered some sort of blow. No. Fear not, I continue to consider each and every day I get to spend with me a singular honor, and I still make sure I dress neatly (and a little provocatively) each morning in the hopes of catching my eye. So:

I’m currently looking at a check, my advance for my novel. It looks more or less like any other check, but this one isn’t for a TV or radio show or a screenplay or a decent month of eyewear sales (Sunglass Hut, Assistant Manager, 1993 - ‘94). It’s for a novel. Yee-ha. Yee, I say, and ha.

You might remember when I first revealed that I’d somehow managed to sell the thing. Not much has changed since then, except for two details. It’s probably going to come out some time in 2005 (not ‘06), and it probably won’t be called “”Schr�dinger’s Humdinger.” Why? For one thing, the task of translating “humdinger” for foreign markets is apparently something of a humdinger.

So it’s a bright day here in New York, as I watch Hurricane Charley begin to make its way up the eastern seaboard and anxiously await the first comic genius to twig to the hilarious possibilities inherent in connecting the “blowing” winds and a certain recently-outed governor. It’ll be a proud moment for all of us. [My money’s on Leno.] But that’s all going to slide off me like butter off a duck’s toast. The Olympics are starting, there’s a check on my desk, and all’s right with the world. [That is, if you don’t count Iraq, Iran, Israel, Sudan, Chad, the US economy, the South American rainforests, Guantanamo Bay, Afghanistan, Chechnya, North Korea, Cuba, Florida (winds), China (floods), Spain (fire), Turkey, Congo, and our oceans. Other than that, we’re doing great.]

One more thing - you can hear me and RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie on “Wait Wait” tomorrow. He’s already here in New York, getting ready for the convention. I think he’s going to be staying on my couch. I’ll let you know how that goes.