- Homeland security experts warned that the US Capitol might be one of the buildings targeted by terrorists. This is why I’d make a lousy intelligence agent - I coulda sworn that the Denny’s on Route 1 in Alexandria would be first on the evil-doers’ lists. Or maybe that Mobil Minimart outside Reno. But, I mean, the Capitol? Now that I hear it, it seems so obvious…

- Ahmed Chalabi and his nephew have had warrants issued for their arrest, for counterfeiting and murder, respectively. It’s a big frame-up, of course - the new government obviously fears Chalabi, with his complete lack of power, allies, or supporters. Naturally, the Bush administration leapt right in to defend the man who’d provided them with the bulk of the evidence used to justify the war: “This is a matter for the Iraqi authorities to resolve and they are taking steps to do so.”

- My friend Nick informs me of a chilling wrinkle in the story of Rick James’ death. Apparently, James was staying at the same Burbank apartments that I so recently vacated. Before the government tries to chalabi me for this one, let me assure you all that I had nothing to do with it. Not really.

- Our elections are going to be monitored by international observers. I’m sure that the Republican leadership of Florida will be extremely open to any Frenchmen reporting irregularities in the process. In fact, I’d pay cash money to see that particular Great Moment in Diplomacy.