This blog is cursed this week. Cursed.

I’d just written an amusing explanation of the incredible discovery of Bush’s lost military records. And then my browser crashed. I haven’t worked on a Windows PC for a while, and I’d forgotten that they only work for so long before something horrible happens, at which point the Windows manual suggests that I scream, sob, rend my garments, and upgrade to a newer version of the software that will really definitely totally not crash quite so much this time albeit depending on various conditions involving things that would be far more difficult to learn about than simply following directions and getting a head start on my next bout of screaming, sobbing, and etc.

It’s a helpful manual.

But I’ll say this about the miraculous records. White House spokesman Trent Duffy says, “They show the president served in the military and completed his service, which is why he received an honorable discharge.” So now you know: When you see that long-faced Senator with all the purple hearts on stage this week, you can rest assured that the President served honorably too. See, the new records show that Bush wasn’t paid during the mysterious period when nobody remembers seeing him serve! I’m pretty sure that what this means is that he wasn’t paid in Texas, so clearly he had to have been in Alabama, serving his country at that base where nobody saw him. What other possible explanation could there be?

Whew. I’m glad that’s been cleared up.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d only just finished screaming and was working my way towards a good sob. And this cotton/poly blend is damned hard to rend.