All right, I’m not keeping a diary. But I have a few minutes here as I wait for some elements that need to be added to tomorrow’s show. Oh yes, I’m the kind of guy who has to approve “elements” and “edits.” I’m also the sort of fellow who doesn’t sleep and starves his cat for 14 hours at a time because of long work hours. That’s the kind of guy I am.

So here are some things I’ve learned recently, in no particular order.

- Sandy Berger might prove to be the youngest doddering old fool in human history. The timing of the leak? The culprit who leaked? Who cares!? I don’t think I’ll be able to pay attention to the 9/11 Commission’s report tomorrow, no, I’ll be far too distracted by Sandygate. 9/11? When was that?

- In retrospect, raising my cat as a dog might have been a bad idea. But I’d never raised a cat before, dammit. Now Horatio’s complete inability to self-feed is a problem - whatever hits the bowl leaves the bowl immediately. So he’s been starving since early this morning.

- If you watch the video of Jenna Bush sticking her tongue out at reporters, it’s not so much the tongue-sticking as the subsequent horsey gum-chaw and the flip of the head. It’s a gesture more suited to a biker’s girlfriend as they pull away on his Harley. Not something you’d expect from Jenna, but then again, she is the next W - destined to blunder around for a while and then somehow outperform her smarter, Jeb-like sister and ascend to the Presidency. Sometime in the late 30’s, I’m guessing.

- Honestly, having Horatio here is better than him being all alone in Brooklyn. Jeanne’s in Oklahoma choreographing a production of “The Wizard of Oz” that her mom is directing. See? The cat would be all by his lonesome, being fed at the whim of some friend or neighbor. So don’t pull that “animal abuse” stuff on me.

- So we’ve had the “terror alert” distraction from the Kerry/Edwards announcement, and the Sandygate diversion from the 9/11 report. So… what will be the facile “event” that the Republicans will deploy to upstage next week’s convention? Please place your bets in the Comments section. I’m thinking that it’ll involve Osama bin Laden in the Dining Room with a Rope.

- What’s worse, Horatio simply doesn’t drink water. It’s true. He’ll take a few reluctant sips from a dripping faucet when you kinda force him, but neither Jeanne nor I have ever seen him take in liquids on his own. So he’s got a water bowl back in my rented rooms, yes, but he’s really just going to wait until he gets more moist cat food in order to take in the vital fluids he needs to survive. Damn. Where are those freaking elements already?