[In a shadowy sub-basement, a single candle is lit, revealing several up-and-coming terrorists.]
MAHMOUD: I call this meeting of The Iraqi Peoples’ Jihad Front to order!
AHMED: We’re hosed.
MAHMOUD: We’re not hosed, Ahmed. It’s a setback.
AHMED: We had everything ready to go for the 30th, and the Americans went and ruined it.
FAROUK: It’s not a setback, it’s an opportunity.
AHMED: You always say that kinda thing! And it’s just bullshit, Farouk. You don’t know the first thing about terrorism.
FAROUK: May I remind you that I have more experience than anyone in this room.
AHMED: Having gone on three suicide bombing missions is nothing to brag about, idiot!
FAROUK: Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me stronger-
AHMED: It’s supposed to kill you, you mor-
MAHMOUD: Enough! Whatever you call it, the cunning American devils have robbed us of our chance to wreak bloody havoc and upstage the transfer of sovereignty.
AHMED: Yeah, that was a dirty trick.
MAHMOUD: But it shows that they’re scared of us.
FAROUK: My guess is that they were more scared of the 21 million dollar success of “Fahrenheit 9/11″ dominating the news cycle.
[Pause.]
AHMED: Shut up, Farouk.
MAHMOUD: Anyway, having had our last hurrah pre-empted and real sovereignty restored to the people of Iraq and the former American occupiers now reduced to the role of security forces serving at the pleasure of a legitimate and autonomous government, I’m moved to reconsider our resistance. Why don’t we rethink things, take the Americans at their word and respect the newly sovereign government and pitch in and help rebuild our nation and support our fledgling democracy?
[Pause.]
MAHMOUD: Kidding!
[Relieved laughter.]
AHMED: Woo! You really had me going there…
MAHMOUD: How’s Thursday for our next offensive? Thursday good?
FAROUK: I’ve got a new explosive vest. Best one ever, guys!
AHMED: Shut up, Farouk. Thursday’s good.
Fanny Roborat
13 comments
Murray
June 29, 2004 at 8:59 am
1Wait a sec. You mean everything is not perfect? But we paid for perfect. Goddammit, I demand perfect.
Well maybe if we pull all of our reporters out of Iraq, Americans will just forget about what is happening there and we can concentrate on the important things, like how well the rich did during the recession.
tess
June 29, 2004 at 12:56 pm
2eh, i think they should be laughing their asses off about the right to healthcare — they’re more progressive than we are.
Mojo
June 29, 2004 at 1:38 pm
3Where did you get this intelligence collection of the Iraqi resistance Adam? It’s way more plausible than the stuff we’ve been getting lately. I heard that General Miller is going to give all the prisoners in Abu Ghraib internet access so they can read your blog. Then he can torture the information back out of them and really shine!
Karen
June 29, 2004 at 1:46 pm
4A caller on the O’Franken Factor is putting forth this theory right now, that Fahrenheit was dominating the news and Rove decided they had to push the “transfer of sovereignty” forward…
Al said that hadn’t occurred to him, but that it was an interesting theory.
littlebit
June 29, 2004 at 2:23 pm
5Wish we had access to that program (is it Air America?) here in Salt Lake City. As it is, Farenheit 9/11 is only being shown in film society venues and is not shown at all in the Brigham Young University valley 40 miles south of here. (Oh, you mean there’s stuff still going on in Iraq?) Pity.
Karen
June 29, 2004 at 3:25 pm
6You can listen to Air America radio live online at airamericaradio.com.
MP
June 29, 2004 at 4:33 pm
7Shut up, Farouk.
Anonymous
June 29, 2004 at 6:41 pm
8WHERE’S THE FORUM?
It’s supposed to be in bold right under “Around Here.”
Don’t try to hide the truth from us, Adam.
Just because you don’t mention anything, doesn’t mean nothing’s happening. You must be taking lessons from coverage of Afghanistan.
littlebit
June 29, 2004 at 8:23 pm
9Thanks, Karen. I’ll check it out.
And I’ll check out the forum.
Murray
June 29, 2004 at 8:43 pm
10Hey! What’s going on around here? Where is the forum? and how come the FA Store can’t be found? Is this Cheney’s passive agressive way of getting back at you?
Brett
June 30, 2004 at 2:05 am
11For once, you’ve got to wish that life imitated art. . .
ginny
June 30, 2004 at 1:17 pm
12Air America can also be heard (if you’re unable to access the Real Evil feed) via KPOJ’s website at www.super62.com - you’d be a natural for Al’s show, Adam (if you haven’t already been on).
Oh, and shut UP, Farouk.
littlebit
June 30, 2004 at 9:13 pm
13Thanks again. Got Air America online last night — superb.
Be still now, me and Farouk iz hangin’. Workin’ on that new body pack.