It’s been a sparse week around here, dear readers, as I’ve been sucked into the Hollywood machine. It’s a long process - I was only fitted for cortical implants yesterday, and my behavior won’t be fully “standardized” until sometime next week. My personal trainer, Benito, says I need to work harder on something called my “abs,” which apparently “don’t really exist” at the moment.

Naw, it’s just been busy around here. Busy but happy. Don’t worry, as I fall into a schedule things’ll return more or less to normal. Plus, my state of utter, car-less isolation and despondent loneliness means weekend updates for you! See? Everybody wins.

Also, one of the writers on our fine staff here is also a blogger. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Nick Malis.

More than that, I can’t tell you. I’m still getting my bearings here. Our new governor here has some sort of accent (Sacramento? Oakland?). I’ll look into it.