It’s a terrific day to avoid the headlines.
So… last night I found out that I’m heading for Calee-forn-eye-ay soon. Real soon. Sunday.
It’s going to be fun; for the next five weeks I’ll be livin’ the west coast life. Sure, there are some challenges. Do I have a car? No. Do I have a drivers license? No, no I don’t. Do I handle direct sunlight well? Um, no, I have sort of a vampiric constitution. Do I possess a breezy, casual, but neat wardrobe and a keen sense of style? Again, no. Am I geared towards a lifestyle full of beach parties, drivin’ with the top down, piles of cocaine, casual hot tub sex, red carpet premieres, and earthquakes? It’s hard to say.
But I DO have a bicycle, and a hotel reservation that puts me just a couple of miles from the studio. And a pair of shorts. So I should fit right in.
Naw, actually I’ve spent quite a bit of time out there, and I get along famously with the simple, colorful natives and have a great appreciation for their quaint crafts (film, television). It’ll be a great, big adventure full of interesting discoveries.
And Fanatical Apathy will continue, oh yes it will. This “internet” thing now extends to almost all of the fifty states, you know. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have pooka beads to purchase…
Fanny Roborat
27 comments
Chris B
June 18, 2004 at 6:21 pm
1It also doesn’t hurt to cultivate a taste for sushi. The locals fail to notice your pale complexion if you order nagiri.
Just a thought…
littlebit
June 18, 2004 at 6:24 pm
2Pooka beads, breezy shorts, and a lap da…top. A laptop.
Glad you’ll be staying in touch
and keeping us in touch.
mothis
June 18, 2004 at 11:07 pm
3you will still be doing wait wait right?
brad
June 19, 2004 at 3:08 am
4You totally should hire a limo. Spend the big bucks..
Jerry
June 19, 2004 at 3:37 am
5You might want to look for “puka” shells as “pookas” or “phukas” do not have shells but rather hair if they appear as sheep or cattle or skin if they take on human form, though they are generally regarded as incorporeal , as there is no known record of their having been touched, or offering to shake hands. Don’t be embarrassed, adam, you’ll soon get the hang of the slang.
If you tire of the LA merry-go-’round, truck (travel) on up to the Central Coast. It’s cool (fine) if you want to crash (stay) at my pad (dwelling). SLO town is the cure for the LA heebie-jeebies!
Jerry
June 19, 2004 at 3:39 am
6PS The LA word for bicyclist is “target.”
Jerry
June 19, 2004 at 3:48 am
7Meticulous research by yours truly has had astounding results! I know and can document what and where the WMDs were, and how in Saddam’s satanic hands they threatened the American way of life. Anyone interested?
Murray
June 19, 2004 at 7:59 am
8A Bicycle in LA.
Sounds like Adam’s Big Adventure.
Adam, if you can handle 5th Avenue traffic, those weenies in LA should pose no problems on your bike.
One of my mottos:
I didn’t find God ON my bike,
I found God IS my bike
Linkmeister
June 19, 2004 at 1:59 pm
9Jerry, thank you. The puka (which means “hole”, btw) shell industry is under attack from counterfeiters anyway, so being spelt wrong in such a visible venue is just one more blow among many.
Dee
June 19, 2004 at 8:32 pm
10I think pooka beads appear here and there, now and then, to this one and that one. They’re fond of rumpots, crackpots and how are you Mr. Felber?
Jerry
June 19, 2004 at 8:58 pm
11Linkmeister,
It doesn’t surprise me…but on the up side, billions of pukas aren’t being sacrificed to millions of tourists. If not for that soon pukas would be as rare as pookas.
dan
June 19, 2004 at 10:47 pm
12hey, can you do me a favor? when you’re driving or flying or whatever to california, can you sing that “california” song from the O.C. really loud. You know what I’m talking about, dude. Just sing it real loud for me and all the rest of the people stuck on the east coast.
peace
Alex
June 20, 2004 at 6:50 pm
13It’s another coverup from Adam, isn’t it?
You see, just as “someone” claims the money that we’ve all been working so hard for, those of us on Team Project Space Force, Adam suddenly leaves the area. Why is that?
Adam has not posted an Project Space Force update in months. Why is that?
Adam tells us that he is moving to Califfornia, the same state where our main competitor, SpaceShipOne, is about to take off. Why is that?
Suddenly, Adam can afford to stay in a hotel. Why is that?
What’s the TRUTH, Adam?
m
June 20, 2004 at 7:29 pm
14First: memorize this.
Second: believe it. It’s true, so that’s not so hard. It will be particulary helpful to you when you return (if you do) to the east coast.
Mamas and Papas, California Dreaming
All the leaves are brown (all the leaves are brown)
And the sky is gray (and the sky is gray)
I’ve been for a walk (I’ve been for a walk) on a winter’s day (on a winter’s day)
I’d be safe and warm (I’d be safe and warm) if I was in LA (if I was in LA)
California dreamin’ (California dreamin’) on such a winter’s day
Stopped in to a church I passed along the way
Well, I got down on my knees (got down on my knees) and I pretend to pray (I pretend to pray)
You know, the preacher liked the cold (preacher liked the cold)
He knows I’m gonna stay (knows I’m gonna stay)
California dreamin’ (California dreamin’) on such a winter’s day
(interlude) (questioning interlude)
All the leaves are brown (all the leaves are brown)
And the sky is gray (and the sky is gray)
I’ve been for a walk (I’ve been for a walk) on a winter’s day (on a winter’s day)
If I didn’t tell her (if I didn’t tell her) I could leave today (I could leave today)
California dreamin’ (California dreamin’) on such a winter’s day (California dreamin’) on such a winter’s day (California dreamin’) on such a winter’s day
bjd
June 20, 2004 at 8:02 pm
15Bwahaha. Right into my hands, Meeester Felber, you ginko buloba snorter. Don’t think yet another 18 point blowout on WWDTM escaped my attention. Gonna make the East Coast/West Coast rivalry of Tupac vs. Notorious B.I.G. look like a Hillary vs. Lindsey. Or Hillary v. Monica.
Oh, you’ll be in Burbank? The traffic heading to Burbank sucks. Actually, Burbank just plain sucks. But if you take one step out of the San Fernando Valley–the world’s porn capital–watch your back!
Rusty
June 20, 2004 at 9:31 pm
16What’s this about hot tub sex and it being casual and all? Ever see two hot tubs having sex? Nothing casual about it!
Allison
June 21, 2004 at 2:51 pm
17Welcome to the Golden State, Adam! I hope you get a chance to experience some of the non-LA bits of the state (hint: travel north along the coast — some of the most gorgeous scenery on the planet). If you get tired of the the conservative so-Cal scene, journey up here to Santa Cruz, the vegetarian/twirly-dancing/medical marijuana/no nukes capital of the state. Yeah, kinda like Berkeley, but without the veneer of intellectualism.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Marine Biologist,
Allison
tess
June 21, 2004 at 8:41 pm
18Jerry:
you’re at SLO? i’ll be at calpoly trying to earn my masters in a matter of a few months (and i need to find an apartment there probably in august). maybe we can help pester adam to visit!
btw, allison, santa cruz is nothing like berkeley — where’re the right-wing activists complaining that no one reads their publications and shouting that they’re being shouted down? are there naked people running up and down the streets? do you find homeless people dookie on your front steps regularly . . . wait, yes you would. okay, so santa cruz is a lot like berkeley with beaches. oh, and apparently not a lot of cute gay guys according to a friend of mine.
in conclusion — adam, try to visit up north! it’s just a $100 mormon-airline ticket away!
Jerry
June 22, 2004 at 2:44 am
19tess,
cool…I propose we organize a local fan club (SLO Boosters of Adam Felber [SLOBOAF]?) and then invite him to speak at a meeting, and see if he has gotten too LA-di-da to take the Grayhound 200 miles to entertain two people for free!
I think of SC (the city, not the school) as Yuppie New Age Berkeley. The school seems to be more interested in beer parties than political parties. ‘Course, they DO have the slickest mascot going! On the other hand, you will find that CowPoly is purely acedemically oriented. Riiiiight.
Better hurry apartment hunting. Here’s a good starting point:
http://www.apartments.com/search/oasis.dll?p=teletrib&Area2=Y&page=Sub Area&state=CA&rgn2=131&partner=teletrib&prvpg=3
Jerry
June 22, 2004 at 2:48 am
20Allison,
You’re not associated with the MB Aquarium, are you? If so, the”Small World” theorum is once again supported experimentally (well, OK, anecdotally, but still…)
tess
June 22, 2004 at 2:32 pm
21oh crap, i’m going to have live far from campus and actually commute, won’t i?
Allison
June 22, 2004 at 3:18 pm
22Jerry and Tess,
Interesting comparisons between Berzerkley and Santa Cruz.
Yes, we certainly have our share of naked people running around, both on the UC campus and in town (more on campus, though, which was “clothing optional” until the mid-90s, I think). In fact, one of the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen was two naked guys riding their bikes up the hill. Well, they weren’t really naked; they were wearing those biking shoes for their clipless pedals. My first thought was, “Hmm, I’ve never seen flesh-colored bike shorts before…”
Interestingly enough, I’ve also heard from my gay friends that Santa Cruz can be a difficult place to be gay. Maybe it has to do with the peculiar fascism of the liberal left. I’ve never witnessed any gay-bashing or anti-gay prejudice, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Jerry, are you at MBA? I’m not associated with MBA, but I take my students there for fieldtrips. I’m at Long Marine Lab and UCSC, where I teach and do research. But yes, it is a small world. Not at all surprising, though, that there are a bunch of us Adam lovers in California.
Allison
Jerry
June 22, 2004 at 8:15 pm
23tess,
Probably not THAT far, and the bus service is pretty good (see http://www.slorta.org/ for county transportation and http://www.rideshare.org/buses.htm for the city). Parking is REALLY expensive on campus, and nonexistum around campus. You might want to look at places in Los Osos and Cayucos, nice places to live, as well as SLO itself.
Allison,
No, but but a good friend from UCLA in the early ’70s works in the Public Information Office there, and we get up there as often as we can, if for no other reason than an excuse to cruise the Sur. Of course, it’s fun too to hit the Steinbeck museum in Salinas and admire how the valley has now embraced him for profit after loathing him for so long.
Naked biking?! All I can say is, Ouch! Humorously, I had the opposite situation the first time I saw, from a distance, several bikers wearing (caucasian) flesh-colored lycra shorts!
I’d be interested in your take on the “peculiar fascism of the liberal left.” The only contexts I’ve observed that in is the enforced PCing of acedemic content, where it drives me nuts, and in the post-modernist “every point of view is equally valid” world view where it drives me to tears. I would say that it is a self-misnamed “liberal” who would make life difficult for a gay person. Personally, I think that “peculiar fascism of the liberal left” is just plain ol’ prejudice from someone that wishes they were progressive.
Murray
June 22, 2004 at 8:34 pm
24Naked biking?
I can go you one better.
As a Cannondale Dealer I can get you a lycra body suit that illustrates the muscles of the body, sans skin.
BWT those from LA, SF and SLO, not every one knows that LSMFT is either AMFM or JPEG. When you refer to ASAP we non ACDC think that you’re actually LMNOP.
tess
June 22, 2004 at 8:54 pm
25Murray:
lycra suit sans skin? i might just get one of those for my bro. however, do they come in extra-portly sizes?
Allison
June 23, 2004 at 12:09 am
26Jerry,
Maybe it’s a phenomenon that one sees primarily in those perceived uber-liberal cities like Santa Cruz, but what I call “liberal fascism” is like taking political correctness to the far extreme in every sense. For example: (1) If you’re not vegan and don’t grow all of your own food organically, you’re part of the problem: global environmental difficulties due to mechanized agriculture and concentrated animal husbandry; (2) If you don’t accept the validity of every opinion and idea you hear (even the stupid ones), you’re stamping on the creativity and thought processes of a fellow human being. And don’t even get me started on grade inflation! Basically, if you’re not as pro-gay, pro-medical-marijuana, and anti-meat as the next guy, you suck and don’t deserve to call yourself a liberal. And God help you if you’re stupid enough to drive around this town in a Hummer.
Another phenomenon that may pertain only to Santa Cruz or to other smallish tourist towns is the “The rules count for everybody except me” mindset. This is the first town I’ve lived where the residents don’t seem to take care of it — people don’t pick up after their dogs, fling cigarette butts out of car windows, jaywalk like crazy, and let their teenage kids hang out on the Pacific Garden Mall and pretend they’re poor. “But that’s okay, ’cause we walked in the Habitat for Humanity fundraiser last weekend!” Drives me crazy.
On the other hand, when I look out the window onto the Pacific Ocean and remember that I get to do work that I love, it’s all worth it.
Allison
Jerry
June 23, 2004 at 2:53 am
27Allison,
Sounds like we are pretty much in tune on this. I still don’t think such folk deserve the “liberal” appellation, though. National Socialists weren’t!
“I” know that “I” am a true liberal! Except for the Hummer thing of course
Kids are dying so MegaOilCorp can sell them the gas for those things!
Murray,
Huh?
