[Interim President Sheikh Ghazi al-Yawar bangs his gavel repeatedly.]

AL-YAWAR: Order, my friends, order! Now, let us continue with the roll call. Interior Minister Falah Hassan al-Naqib?

AL-NAQIB: Present!

AL-YAWAR: Finance Minister Adil Abdel-Mahdi?

ABDEL-MAHDI: Present!

[A commotion is heard at the back of the room, followed by gunshots and explosions.]

COUNCIL MEMBER: Now, not so present.

AL-YAWAR: *Sigh.* All right, let the record show that we need a new finance minister. To continue: Trade minister Mohammed al-Joubri?

[More gunfire, explosions]

COUNCIL MEMBER: Uh, no.

AL-YAWAR: Great. Okay, let’s get to some new business. We have a proposal from Oil Minister Thamir Ghadbhan. Mr. Ghadbhan?

GHADBHAN: Thank you, Mr. Interim President. Um, after careful study, it is my conclusion that the people of Iraq are best served letting Halliburton’s KBR continue to run the industry. Contracts are being drawn up, but things will remain the same from an operational standpoint.

[An indignant murmur is heard.]

AL-YAWAR: Mr. Ghadbhan, I thought we’d talked about taking the industry back and allowing competitive bids.

GHADBHAN: Uh, yeah. But on further reflection, I have to point out that Halliburton KBR has been providing quality energy services for years, and are an industry leader in engineering and construction. KBR also provides operations and maintenance for a wide variety of facilities, and -

AL-YAWAR: Yes, yes, Mr. Ghadbhan, we can all see you’re reading directly from their brochure over there. I only ask, have you actually inspected the oil fields yet?

GHADBHAN: Are you serious? No WAY an I going out there.

[Small arms fire is heard.]

AL-YAWAR: What was that?

VOICE FROM THE BACK: We’re gonna need a new Minister of Agriculture.

AL-YAWAR: Dammit!

MINISTER OF AGRICULTURE SAWSAN SHERIF: Errrrrrgghh….

VOICE FROM THE BACK: No, wait - he’s okay!

[Another explosion.]

VOICE FROM THE BACK: Uh, nevermind that “he’s okay” thing, all right?

AL-YAWAR: Great, just great. All right, are there any substantive motions on the floor?

EDUCATION MINISTER SAMI MUDAHFAR: Motion to adjourn and hide until next time.

AL-YAWAR: Now wait just a min-

COUNCIL MEMBER: Second!

ALL: Aye!

AL-YAWAR: But - All right. Everyone can go home.

[Pause. No one moves.]

AL-YAWAR: People, may I remind you that the Americans are still providing us with security?

[Silence. No one moves.]

AL-YAWAR: *Sigh* I mean, the basement is open for those who’d like to “work” here overnight.

[A mad scramble for the door. In moments, Al-Yawar is alone. He dials a number on his cell phone.]

AL-YAWAR: Hi, I’d like to order 30 pizzas. Yes. Um, do you guys deliver to undisclosed locations?