http://tinyurl.com/27ga2
http://blogs.salon.com/0001444/2004/04/26.html

http://tinyurl.com/2n9u5

It sounds as if you are asking for me to go head to head with Adam. That would be the equivalent of asking me to attend a gunfight armed with my knife, my rubber knife, my very small rubber knife.

Let’s see, I can’t use the “I want to see Bush talk while Cheney’s drinking water” cause it was said on WWDTM and this would be the WORST place to try to get away with stealing that one.

If I knew how to use hypertext and insert a photo I’d send my picture of town sign to the village next to ours, Chaneysville, PA, and entitle it “A no longer undisclosed location”.
(if anyone wants to send me a step by step instructions on doing this, I would be very grateful)

How about:

Ben-Veniste: Mr. President, after you received the now famous August 6th memo entitled “Osama Bin Laden seeking to attack targets in the US”, what was the first thing you did?

Bush: Dick? Do I have to answer that? I really don’t care for Benny-the-Sandinista, and he-

Cheney: Mr. Ben-Veniste, I believe that the president was intimating that his primary, secondary and possibly tertiary, responsibility was to protect our beloved fathe- uh, homeland, from threats both domestic and foreign. Upon ascertaining how dire and imminent the impending action directed towards the United States was, he immediately sprang into action, with-

Bush: That’s right Dick. I had my pruners, my loping sheers, and my favorite leather gloves, and you know I always wear my boots. My Justin Boots. They are the best. Here, look at that stitching, those Justin guys are-

Cheney: The president is expounding on his initial response using Texan metaphors to illustrate both the defensive and offensive nature needed to defeat the Al-Qaida movement. We, um, he treated this, not as a brush fire, but as-

Bush: No brush fire at all. That’s my goal. That’s why I got to work right away cutting that brush. That brush is bad, it, it.. it’s just evil. But I didn’t get to finish showing you my boots. Once I got them broke in-

Cheney: Once again the president, in his inimitable Reganesque style, that so well resonates with the American public, a public of immense intelligence, both discerning and wise, is drawing the inevitable conclusion regarding the horrible nature of the terrorists who threaten our very way of life. He is pointing out how, just as in the Bible, our main source of strength and guidance, which says about the devil, “He shall strike your heel, but you shall crush his head”. This then is our God given task to root out and crush-

Bush: Heel? Yea these boots have heels. Here look at …. Hey! What the hell is this on my heel? Say Benny, you got a stick?