MOSUL, Wednesday (FA wire) - In a sign that the American “hearts and minds” campaign might finally be taking hold, coalition forces today uncovered an Iraqi civilian who unreservedly approves of the US occupation.

“I think they’re just swell,” said Ibrahim al Kufari, 32, who resides in a suburb north of Mosul. “Yeah, fighting’s bad, but it’s not their fault. It’s the Sunnis and the Shiites and in some cases the Kurds. In short, we’re the problem.”

Kufari was secured by coalition forces in a daring midnight raid, part of a special forces operation code-named “Iron Fisted Bloodrain Friendseeker.” After learning of Kufari’s whereabouts, a squad of marines laid down supporting fire while Apache helicopters circled overhead and sharpshooters manned nearby rooftops to counter any sniper fire. A supporting force pacified a nearby market and called in airstrikes to remove some buildings that stood between coalition forces and al Kufari’s residence, tear gas was deployed, and then the marines on the grounds made their final assault on the modest dwelling. At 4:50 AM, al Kufari was extracted from his home with minimal casualties.

“Gosh, I’m glad they stopped by,” said a smiling Kufari, who was released after several hours of questioning which ascertained his unreservedly pro-American sentiments. “I sort of wish that my house hadn’t been partially destroyed in the raid, and losing my son was a bit of a blow, but I’m told that my wife’s wounds aren’t all that bad. And I understand - they had to be sure they could trust us.”

Paul Bremer, the U.S. administrator in Iraq, hailed the news as further evidence that the Iraqi people had begun to warm up to the American occupation. “Yes, there have been a few troublemakers, but the discovery of Ibrahim al Kufari proves that our mission is succeeding and that peace and democracy are just around the corner,” he said.

For his part, al Kufari expects to remain on friendly terms with the Americans, and he intends to try to convince more Iraqi civilians to have a better attitude towards the US. “I have to take care of my family and tend to my neighbors who were wounded in the raid and rebuild my home, of course, but as soon as that’s done I’ll be right out there in the streets again, telling folks to give the Americans a chance and stop behaving so badly. That way, we’ll be able to build an American-style democracy that will bring us prosperity, freedom, and the ability to be a transformative beacon for the rest of the Middle East. It’ll be super-duper great.”

In Washington, White House Spokesman Scott McClellan was quick to seize on the good news. “He may be the first, but he won’t be last,” he said of Kufari. “The hearts and minds are being won over. The President was right. Everyone else was wrong. And if John Kerry were in charge, Ibrahhim al Kufari would probably be hanging upside down in a rape room rather than exercising his god-given right to rebuild his home. Rape rooms or nice homes - that’s really the choice that the American people are going to have to make this fall.”