From The Baltimore Sun

Bush, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld and L. Paul Bremer III, the U.S. administrator in Iraq, labeled the adversaries variously as “terrorists,” remnants of Saddam Hussein’s regime and outlaws, and continued to deny that the deadly fighting this week reflected growing opposition to the United States and its plans for Iraq.

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FALLUJAH - Heavy fighting was reported overnight as marines engaged in block-to-block fighting with the last remaining group of Saddam loyalists in what was described as a “cleanup operation.” These holdouts are expected to capitulate “any minute now.”

BAGHDAD - Several US armored divisions found themselves in heavy fighting and temporarily pinned in place. Although no casualty reports are available as yet, the attacks were attributed to a disgruntled Iraqi postal worker.

NAJAF - Spill-over from a “domestic dispute” was blamed for the barrage of RPG’s and gunfire that struck an Abrams tank and caused several injuries.

KIRKUK - A 45 minute firefight through the heart of the city caused heavy casualties among both Americans and Iraqis. A CENTCOM spokesman said the opposition was apparently comprised of “a guy named Ahmed and his friend Doug,” two “local cranks” who “just won’t get with the program and are ruining it for everybody else.”