WASHINGTON (CNN) — National security adviser Condoleeza Rice planned to deliver a speech on September 11, 2001, about national security that said nothing about Osama bin Laden, al Qaeda or Islamic fundamentalist groups.
A description and excerpts of that undelivered speech were first reported in The Washington Post on Thursday, and the excerpts were confirmed by administration sources.
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[September 10, 2001. The Office of the National Security Advisor. Condoleeza Rice paces energetically near the window as her deputy, Stephen J. Hadley looks over the upcoming speech.]
RICE: C’mon, c’mon…
HADLEY: Almost done… Okay.
RICE: It’s good, right? A concise summation of the threats looming over our great yadda yadda.
HADLEY: Yeah. I’m not so sure about this “Top Five” list, though.
RICE: What?
HADLEY: Well, how are Alaskan caribou a threat to national security?
RICE: Oh come on, I specifically say that it’s only the caribou who live in that wildlife refuge.
HADLEY: Even still…
RICE: Look, the caribou keep us from the oil, the lack of oil keeps us dependent on foreign sources, which gives Saddam leverage. Simple as a pimple. Get it?
HADLEY: I’m just not sure tha-
RICE: God dammit!
[Rice grabs a paperweight and throws it into a bookshelf.]
HADLEY: Okay, okay. I was just saying.
RICE: Well, stop saying. The caribou thing stays. Non-negotiable.
[The intercom crackles.]
ASSISTANT: Dr. Rice, Richard Clarke is on the line.
RICE [into intercom]: I’m not here.
ASSISTANT: He says it’s import-
RICE [into intercom]: I’m not fucking here!!
[She lifts the intercom and bangs it repeatedly on the desktop, reducing it to an unrecognizable pile of plastic and wires.]
[Pause.]
HADLEY: I wonder what he wants.
RICE: Oh please. [in a low, droning voice:] “Uhhh, significant risk. Watch out for the El Kabong network. Beware… beWARE…”
HADLEY: Hee hee.
RICE: “The nomads are coming! The nomads are coming!”
HADLEY: Hee hee. That’s dead on.
RICE: “We’ve learned from the FBI that the CIA thinks that the NSA’s analysis of the blah blah blah…”
HADLEY: Heh. It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true…
RICE: Okay, so are we good here?
HADLEY: I think so. I like the stuff about Iraq and Iran. “Twin towers of evil.” That’s a great phrase.
RICE: Thanks.
HADLEY: But are you sure you want to imply that without missile defense we’re vulnerable to “space-based attacks from Iraq.”
RICE: Aren’t we? North Korea too.
HADLEY: Well, it’s not like we have any evidence that the Iraqis even have a -
RICE: Godammit, Steve! Motherfuck!
[She lifts a chair and smashes it against a wall, splintering it into small pieces. She then hefts an ornamental antique globe of the world and heaves it at a window, shattering the glass. She looms over Hadley, panting.]
HADLEY: Hey, it’s okay by me. It stays.
RICE: Good. Anything else?
HADLEY: Just one more thing. You say on page four, um, “We cannot allow complacency to blind us to the very real threat posed by the Soviets…”
RICE: Yes. What? That’s good.
HADLEY: “The Soviets…”
RICE: Oh! My bad. Must’ve been a typo.
HADLEY: Yeah, I thought so.
RICE: Make that “terrorists and rogue states.”
HADLEY: Nice.
RICE: Are we done? I’ve got a squash appointment, a meeting, and an oboe lesson. And then dinner with the Vice President.
HADLEY: Wow!
RICE: Well, ya gotta keep busy.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]





10 comments
Mary
April 2, 2004 at 4:28 pm
1Adam- have you been copying secret White House files again?
candice
April 2, 2004 at 5:35 pm
2i’d always wondered at the vicious rage hiding behind that simply cold and hostile facade…now i know for sure. can’t you picture her whipping her mike around at the 9-11 hearings when someone asks a question that pisses her off? shall be good tv.
tess
April 2, 2004 at 6:26 pm
3yee gods, that would be a sight to behold. “the ice queen loses her cool and she’s red hot!” i can imagine it plastered all over the newspapers and S&M sites . . .
tim
April 2, 2004 at 7:27 pm
4The last time a black woman was under the gun at a public hearing in Washington, we were talking about pubic hair on a Coke. So look how far we’ve come as a nation!
“Iraq and Iran, the Twin Towers of Evil” is genius.
Pat R.
April 3, 2004 at 2:55 am
5For some reason the phrase “whipping her mike around at the 9-11 hearings” gets me seeing an image of Ms. R. doing a Roger Daltry thing, clad in dominatrix duds instead of fringed jacket. Scary.
A seriously excellent bit of writing this time around, Adam.
imitrex
April 3, 2004 at 5:32 am
6No one crumpled the thankless fragments in an urn or confounded a memorial to him who had been
Mike Z
April 4, 2004 at 2:05 pm
7Violent rages are always funny.
What the heck is up with spammers in the comments section?
Mommy
April 4, 2004 at 6:20 pm
8Thanks, MIke. I was so weirded out by that one that I couldn’t provide incisive commentary…
oh wait.
I never can.
dang.
synykl
April 4, 2004 at 7:50 pm
9Pat R., I have the advantage over you of having seen, at a Siouxsie and the Banshees concert in the 80’s, Siouxsie swing her mic bringing it smack down on the head of someone in front of the stage who was pissing her off.
In other words, I don’t have to exercise my imagination, just my memory.
Pat R.
April 5, 2004 at 3:52 am
10For more about the ongoing effort to spin the war to the administration’s advantage, there’s an interesting article in today’s Seattle Times about the Coalition Press Office (which is, according to the article, “packed with former Bush campaign workers, political appointees and ex-Capitol Hill staff members” who want to “ensure Americans see the positive side of the Bush administration’s invasion, occupation and reconstruction of Iraq, where 610 U.S. troops have died and a deadly insurgency thrives”):
http://tinyurl.com/2bj4d