From Reuters, today -
U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia refused on Thursday to remove himself from a case about Vice President Dick Cheney’s energy task force, even though their recent duck-hunting trip raised questions about his impartiality…
According to the motion, Scalia and his daughter were Cheney’s guests on Air Force Two on a Jan. 5 flight to Louisiana. Cheney and Scalia were guests of the president of an energy services company on a duck-hunting vacation.
“The vice president and I were never in the same blind and never discussed the case,” Scalia said, referring to a shelter used to conceal duck hunters.
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In a further development, the Court has taken the unusual step of replacing the attorney for the respondent in the case. In an order filed by Justice Antonin Scalia, Judicial Watch counsel Paul J. Orfanedes was notified this morning that he has been dismissed from the case by the Supreme Court, for reasons of “excessive sticking-his-nose-where-it-don’t-belong.”
His replacement, appointed by the court, will be Lynne Cheney, 62, of Washington D.C. According to the order, Mrs. Cheney, though not a lawyer, is “eminently qualified to argue this thing on behalf of Judicial Watch, the Sierra Club, and the rest of those hippies.”
Reached at her home, Mrs. Cheney responded to criticism that her commitment to the job might be in question due to her marital relationship with Vice President Dick Cheney. “We have never once discussed this case,” she said. “We keep a strict division between our personal and professional lives. I will argue for the release of those documents detailing Mr. Cheney’s energy industry contacts to the best of my ability. I will serve the respondents with professionalism, no matter how thin and ludicrous their case may be.”
The Vice President declined to dwell on the matter when asked about his wife’s appointment. “Nice. She’ll be great. But I don’t want anything to distract me from communicating my essential message, and that is that John Kerry is a huge pussy,” he said.





14 comments
Pat R.
March 18, 2004 at 2:04 pm
1I find myself with the ugly urge to flog the ‘blind justice’ bit from Alice’s Restaurant, but I’m sure I would regret if I did. And it’s probably not as funny as it once was. Certainly not as funny as this piece of yours, Adam.
Right. Carry on.
Mary
March 18, 2004 at 3:19 pm
2A classic case of:
“Pay no attention to that man behind the duckblind”.
Sue
March 18, 2004 at 3:37 pm
3Mrs. Cheney’s gonna read us another storybook, isn’t she?
Looking forward to hearing you with Ira Glass, the most renowned Baltimorean since John Waters.
tim
March 18, 2004 at 3:52 pm
4You kind of have to agree with Scalia when he says the duck hunt won’t affect his impartiality. Scalia has no impartiality.
ginny
March 18, 2004 at 4:38 pm
5“The vice president and I were never in the same blind and never discussed the case,” Scalia said, referring to a shelter used to conceal duck hunters.”
This raises the disturbing mental image of vice-presidential twin beds (with matching duvets in a duck motif).
Murray
March 18, 2004 at 5:33 pm
6I’m not sure why they are even trying the case. We still have the same folks who selected the president. Why would they risk an election that they couldn’t throw?
It’s all ready decided, Bush wins and Cheney is nominated for saint hood.
tess
March 18, 2004 at 7:40 pm
7“saint dick.” i can see that. totally. . . .
can we worship him at an alter of condoms, french ticklers, and gay porno?
tess
March 19, 2004 at 2:01 pm
8i just ended the conversation, didn’t i?
JR
March 19, 2004 at 5:21 pm
9Freedom ticklers.
littlebit
March 19, 2004 at 7:18 pm
10It’s ok, Tess, you’ve left an indelible image.
Murray
March 20, 2004 at 8:49 am
11Gee tess.
educated comedian
March 21, 2004 at 4:13 am
12Tess, it’s not that you killed the coversation; we just suddenly all found new solace in religion.
tess
March 22, 2004 at 1:33 pm
13sorry. i have an especially immature sense of humor. i’ll try to keep it in check.
Murray
March 23, 2004 at 9:16 am
14Tess
No, no, no
You had the funniest line all day.
Where would we be with out your insight.
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