Friday, after returning from beautiful, golden Phoenix, we opened “The Next Big Broadway Musical.” Oh, dear readers, I wish you could’ve been there, if only to buy me drinks.
No, it was a completely satisfying experience. But be advised, New Yorkers and visitors, it was sold out. So you might want to plan slightly in advance (a day oughta do it). All the info is now located right here (I’m the pretty one).
Next, it’ll be off to Chicago for Thursday’s “Wait Wait.” I’m not quite spending as much time away from the office as our president, but I’m working on it. Then again, I don’t have a phalanx of evil puppet-masters doing my work for me while I’m away. Does anyone know where I could get some of those? I keep thinking - am I the type to have henchmen, minions, or evil puppet-masters? Hard to say, but I must decide before I take office next January. Decisions…
Fanny Roborat
23 comments
Dee, Future Ambassador to Fiji (and Henchwoman Extrordinaire)
February 23, 2004 at 9:58 pm
1Me!!! Pick me!!!
Bob
February 23, 2004 at 10:46 pm
2If I recall correctly, Boris Badenov was a member of Local 12, Villians, Thieves, and Scoundrels Union. I’d try them.
Kerry
February 23, 2004 at 10:58 pm
3I think aisle 12 in any Walmart will have a few. But they’re made in China.
Kyria
February 24, 2004 at 12:41 am
4Sorry that I missed it. I was too sick to go out, especially for a poole party.
Bill Tozier
February 24, 2004 at 7:46 am
5I’m not so sure a real minion is worth the cost and risk it takes to upgrade. In our household we’ve been relying on lackeys and toadies a lot–you know, just for handyman type stuff, light guard duty, and to hold our cloaks and announce us when we attend state functions and star chambers.
A couple of well-chosen sycophants can cover the social side of things very nicely, and inasmuch as they’re looking for future favors, a sycophant will more or less be free of charge. At least as long as you can string them along.
So, I dunno. I’ve seen some nice minions through the years — really nice detailing and quite autonomous — and certainly their masters were proud enough of them at the time. But I still think you can get the same base functionality from a cheaper set of lackeys and such. That said, I guess maybe I’m not so concerned with the bingbling aspects as some others would be, since we do most of our best stuff behind the scenes.
But do recall, minions have this reputation for going from ruthless to hapless at a moment’s notice….
Murray
February 24, 2004 at 9:37 am
6Adam, you need to come to grips with reality.
If you are going to run for president, you need to get serious.
You are MUCH too nice, honest, and candid a guy to need minions.
You need evil puppet masters in spades. People you can turn your conscience over to, who will lead you in dredging (or making up) dirt on your opponents, and shamelessly flinging it. The Republicans know especially well how to go for the jugular. Ask Clealan (sp?), who was attacked for not being a patriot, (loosing 3 limbs in Viet Nam doesn’t count).
There are plenty of republican “political advisors” around to choose from, all of whom can help you go for the throat, while smiling so sweetly.
Mary
February 24, 2004 at 10:42 am
7Adam - you definitely should consider the henchmen and evil puppet-masters. They are the ones who can win the election for you. I’d go for lesser watched but Electoral College vote significant states. Have your henchmen start out there. Toadies, lackeys and sycophants are only useful once you are in power.
But, that’s just my opinion.
tim
February 24, 2004 at 1:21 pm
8“Minion” derives from the French word mignon, which means “darling”, so that sounds a lot more fun than a henchman, which derives from the Old English term for “horse” (hengest). I guess you could say Clinton got a two-for-one deal with Monica Lewinsky.
Yes, I have too much time on my hands.
Sue
February 24, 2004 at 2:11 pm
9Adam, as they say in the ads, “Why not choose all five?” Come to Tools ‘R’ Us for all your pre- and post-election staffing needs! From the merest toady and sycophant (buy ‘em by the boxful!) to fully operational evil puppet masters, you’ll find everything any Great Leader requires at Tools ‘R’ Us! (Note that lackeys are in short supply as my favorite Broadway Matinee Idol, Herndon Lackey, is our One and Only. We sold off the rest to Michael Feldman for his 4 Disclaimers)
G-Man
February 24, 2004 at 2:31 pm
10Speaking of Phoenix (my home town), you may have noticed some local TV stations at the Biltmore during your taping of WWDTM. Ya’ll made tape on the 10pm news - but no audio - just a real quick shot of some guy in a white bath robe. I couldn’t tell just who it was from the 7 picoseconds of video they aired. (Maybe the the ROBE was famous!! That’s why they showed it, right? Could’a been the very same robe GWBUSH wore last month while he was at the Biltmore collecting a zillion bucks while “not campaigning”. At least you guys didn’t tie up traffic for 2 hours when you arrived and departed. Thx).
Anyway, the news anchor (NBC affiliate) intro’d the piece with raised eyebrows, saying, “If you’ve ever turned your radio dial TOO FAR to the LEFT, you may have found National Public Radio…”.
News AND commentary simultaneously. Sweet.
tess
February 24, 2004 at 2:49 pm
11huh, i never thought of npr that way. silly me. and to think i thought that npr usually stayed on the left side of the dial because it was cheaper and no one goes there.
Rob
February 24, 2004 at 7:52 pm
12You’re too heroic to have henchmen, minions or lackeys. Heroes have sidekicks. That’s what you need.
Rana
February 24, 2004 at 8:08 pm
13Too far to the left? Funny, I thought I heard _Pat Buchannan_ being interviewed — and taken seriously — the other day on NPR. (Bleah.)
Linkmeister
February 24, 2004 at 8:45 pm
14Phoenix is still that conservative, G-Man, what with all the growth it’s had? When I lived there in 1970 or so, sure, but I thought it surely must have changed some in the past 30 years.
Dave
February 24, 2004 at 8:52 pm
15I don’t know ’bout henchmen themselves, but after you do find them check out http://www.villainsupply.com for the appropriate henchmen silver lame jumpsuits, hidden jungle or island lairs, superweapons and doomsday devices.
Evan
February 24, 2004 at 9:23 pm
16I’m sorry, Adam, you don’t get henchmen, minions *or* evil puppet-masters. You just get to have ilk.
Erik S
February 24, 2004 at 11:02 pm
17Oh, sure, minions, acolytes, henchmen and puppet masters are all nice, but for real class, i’d go with robed acolytes.
Drawback: They walk around holding candles, well … a LOT, and the voluminous tomes they bring to you has a way of catching fire. Be sure to wear a hairnet around ‘em.
G-Man
February 25, 2004 at 12:59 am
18Linkmeister, your assessment is correct. Phoenix proper has become more liberal in its politics - not unlike Salt Lake City who has a two-term Democratic Mayor). Lots of progressive transplants into the greater Phx area helped us elect an excellent Democratic governor (Janet Napolitano - a rising star in the party) over an extreme conservative, ex-US Congressman (Matt Salmon). But its always easy in AZ to take a shot at “the left” since the burbs and all areas (except Tucson) are still worhiping at the alter of Gold…Water (that would be the “Young Goldwater”, not the older, wiser and practically liberal “Old Goldwater”).
As John Hiatt sang, “Its been a slow turning.”
yr. dvtd. mommie
February 25, 2004 at 10:26 am
19“Anyway, the news anchor (NBC affiliate) intro’d the piece with raised eyebrows, saying, “If you’ve ever turned your radio dial TOO FAR to the LEFT, you may have found National Public Radio…”.
???????????
WHAT? He said that? About my boy?
What’s his name? Where is he? Lemme at him!
Adam, you don’t need minions, henchmen or evil pupper masters.
Not when you’ve got…
(Cue the music and open the oven door)
dumta da da!
Insanely Devoted Mommie!
BettieWheelie
February 25, 2004 at 12:10 pm
2035 THOUSAND voters turned out for the Democratic Presidential Primary in Zion/Utah. (are there that many democrats in Utah? I don’t think so.)This despite the poo-pooing of its importance. Sending a message can be pretty important, especially from this bastioned uber-con place. Could it be true? Are we proving right what has been rumored for quite some time? That there ARE some GOP members dissatisfied with the current regime?–and I use that term underscored.
I dug out my old HOWARD DEAN button (from his days in the Vermont gubernatorial races) and marked with a big X the box that said same.
BettieWheelie
richard
February 25, 2004 at 1:45 pm
21minions are definitely the way to go. they’re much more loyal than either henchmen or puppet masters. and it’s just so much cooler to shout, “go forth my minions and wreak havoc upon the land!”
dahlia
February 26, 2004 at 12:51 pm
22Goons. Hired goons.
katie
February 26, 2004 at 11:00 pm
23Toadies.
rrrbbiitttt!!!!