From Reuters: White House Declines to Endorse Jobs Forecast

WASHINGTON - The White House on Wednesday declined to publicly endorse its buoyant forecast predicting 2.6 million new jobs this year, prompting criticism from Democrats over the politically sensitive issue in an election year.

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After the success of this maneuver, which painted a picture of a rosy future but removed any pesky accountability, the administration has launched a veritable Prediction Offensive.

Speaking in Boise, President Bush boldly asserted that the conflict in Iraq will be over by June and a month later “100 percent of our troops will be home.” The president then added, “but I do not necessarily endorse this projection.”

Meanwhile, Dick Cheney offered some hope on the economic front. “You didn’t hear it from me, but by next year, everyone in the country will be a millionaire,” he said to a cheering throng.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan was even more enthusiastic. “By the end of 2004, we will have eliminated Al Qaeda, insured every American, cured cancer, conquered the deficit, paid down the debt, fed the hungry all over the world, and created a non-addictive wonder drug that makes you happy, focussed, constantly erect, 10 IQ points smarter, able to come up with exactly the right witty quips at social functions, and endowed with amazing psychokinetic abilities. But those are the unofficial projections, of course.”