Defying predictions and all known mathematical principles, every single Democratic candidate emerged from yesterday’s New Hampshire primary with a late surge and a stunning, decisive victory.

- Winner John Kerry was generous with the credit. “This victory belongs to all of you,” he said, indicating his controversial plan to install everyone who votes for him in the Oval Office.

- Things were no less jubilant at the headquarters of the victorious Howard Dean. “We really are going to win this nomination, aren’t we?” he asked the terrifyingly enthusiastic throng.

- In Bedford, General Wesley Clark was thrilled with his triumph. According to CNN, “The retired general hailed the results as a victory for his fledgling campaign.” As Wes himself put it, “Four months ago, we weren’t even in this race… Tonight, we leave New Hampshire as one of the final four.”

- John Edwards was humble but no less joyful about his stunning New Hampshire win. CNN reports that he claimed a modest victory Tuesday in New Hampshire, adding, “Look at what we’ve done. This momentum is extraordinary.”

- Joe Lieberman was also elated by his late surge, though he modestly acknowledged the closeness of the vote. “No one thought that I would have ended up this close to Wes Clark and John Edwards,” he said, making reference to the inevitable handicap that famously afflicts well-known candidates who take on first-time politicians and newcomers to the national stage.

- MSNBC, CNN, The New York Times, and other news outlets were apparently unable to reach Dennis Kucinich for his thoughts on his New Hampshire victory, but you can expect to see an acceptance speech soon on his website (doubtless under the conspicuous “Relections on New Hampshire” banner).

- Here at the Felber campaign, the mood is celebratory. Nobody had predicted we’d get anywhere in the Granite State, everyone said we could expect abolutely nothing at the polls, and what we showed ‘em, didn’t we? Didn’t we!? Thank you, New Hampshire, for showing me all the support, love, and trust that could expect, and I promise that when I’m President, I’ll remember. Oh yes, I’ll remember.