Gadzooks! Zounds, even…

Just in time for my anniversary celebration, my site has been hit with a campaign of cyber-terrorism. The site is now back up and functioning, but the terrorists are all around us.

No, not Islamists. Capitalists.

Throughout the archives, comments have been added by those who’d destroy our way of life by giving us larger penises, access to young women, and quality life insurance. It strikes me that all three would fare better on the blogs of certain conservatives, who seem to genuinely need help with at least the first two. [Yes, a cheap shot. I’m distraught.]

But let me be clear: This will not stand.

Well, honestly, it may stand for a little while. And then it’ll probably sit down, make itself comfortable, and order a drink. But then I’ll take care of it.

See, I’m not much of a webmaster. I know exactly enough to get things running, and even then I usually greet my successes with a hearty, “Wow, how’d I do that?” Technically speaking, this site is a living embodiment of the Peter Principle, which is why we’re pestered by unprincipled peter-peddlars and pederasts. And we will be until your dear Principal Peter parries the parasites and the problem peters out.

So stand firm, dear readers, and try to do so without the aid of bargain-priced little blue pills. Until I figure out how to solve the real problem, I’ll try to keep things interesting enough to distract you all from the terror that surrounds us.

Maybe I’ll invade Iraq.