It wasn’t exactly “Hail to the Chief.” It was more “He Came in Through the Bathroom Window.” [And yes, he was, as always, protected by a silver spoon…]

He had to sneak into a country that he “conquered” half a year ago. The cover of night and ultra-high security and secrecy were needed to make this surprise visit possible. And now it turns out that President Bush didn’t wanna go.

That’s a pretty sad way to effect what his aides are calling “a public-relations coup” and everyone else is calling “weird and vaguely creepy.” Thanksgiving surprises like this happen all the time - but usually they’re made by divorced deadbeat dads without visitation rights who show up at the back door for a quick, drunken “How ya doin’?” while Mom’s off stuffing the turkey. The kids may be happy to see Daddy, but it’s a sad and fleeting pleasure. A visit that doesn’t take responsibility for itself is little more than a furtive prank.

But Bush’s aides were desperate for any kind of image to replace the “Mission Accomplished” flight suit fiasco. And this was a more appropriate moment, amply illustrating how Shock and Awe has been replaced by Duck and Cover. I doubt even the extraordinarily unreflective American public can help noticing the fact that Bush came in through the bathroom window because the front door wasn’t really an option.

And, as Wesley Clark, John Kerry, and others keep pointing out - this was a covert visit to a theater that was a sideshow in the first place. And that the four evil-doers are still out there, somehow eluding our grasp. I’m talking, of course, about Mullah Omar, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and whoever hung that “Mission Accomplished” banner.