WASHINGTON (CNN) — Sen. Zell Miller of Georgia came under fire Friday from civil rights activists who demanded an apology from the conservative Democrat after he equated his party’s opposition to the nomination of a conservative African-American judge to a lynching. Miller — who has already rankled Democrats by endorsing President Bush for re-election — refused to apologize.
“…Conservative African-American women need not apply. And if you have the temerity to do so your reputation will be shattered and your dignity will be shredded. Gal, you will be lynched,” Miller said….
“I think it sums up the situation accurately.”
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Miller then explained that while Justice Janice Rogers Brown hadn’t literally been dragged from her home in the middle of the night by an angry horde, sentenced without trial, had epithets scrawled on her abdomen, and been hanged by the neck until dead before a crowd of torch-bearing vigilantes, the connection between the situations was clear.
“His comments were inappropriate and offensive,” said one civil rights activist, in effect bending Miller forcibly over a pool table and raping him repeatedly.
But the violent treatment of the conservative Democrat didn’t end there. Later that day, Miller was brutally beaten and dragged behind a metaphorical pickup truck over several miles of bad road when Senator Tom Daschle said, “I was offended. I think it was unfortunate.”
The beatings and gang rapes continued this weekend as several Democrats also weighed in and asked for an apology. In effect, his fellow Democrats proceeded to frog march Zell Miller out into the middle of the woods, forced him to dig his own grave, placed a shotgun in his mouth, and fired.
But Miller was unbowed. “The tragedy here does not lie in my floor speech this morning. The tragedy lies in what is happening in the United States Senate to this highly qualified conservative, African-American jurist,” he said as he metaphorically hung high above the Senate floor, bleeding profusely from a spear wound under his ribs, his hands pinned by sturdy nails to the cross behind him.
The cross, with Miller still on it, was figuratively set ablaze later that evening, according to witnesses. It was not immediately known whether Miller’s testicles had been rhetorically hacked off and stuffed in his mouth before the moment of his metaphorical demise, but allegorical Senate officials are looking into it.





13 comments
Dugrless
November 16, 2003 at 4:49 pm
1There’s really only one word to describe what these poor Republican senators are experiencing: holocaust.
michael (in DC)
November 16, 2003 at 8:37 pm
2Extremely rude and absolutely perfect, Adam.
Pundits David Brooks, George Will and Bill Kristof accused “humorist” Adam Felber of “virulent hate speech” today for an eggregiously satirical blog post.
The generously-complensated opinion-speakers insisted that they, along with Sen. Zell Miller (D. Georgia) had been, metaphorically speaking, slandered, insulted, and blackballed from employment and housing by Felber’s “astoundingly impolite” remarks. They said they feared for their figurative physical safety in the face Felber’s “irresponsibly angry tone.”
Asked about Sen. Miller’s original remarks about the “lynching” of President Bush’s judicial nominees, Mr. Brooks said simply, “he’s a Republican.” Informed that Sen. Miller was in fact nominally a Democrat, Brooks responded, “Oh, shut up and go away before I metaphorically slap you silly.”
m
julia
November 16, 2003 at 11:04 pm
3Holocaust isn’t nearly serious enough a word.
We’re talking taxes here.
Progressive taxes.
Chicory
November 17, 2003 at 9:35 am
4Wow, can this administration pick them or what? Just look at these shining examples of Orwellian linguistics:
> non-confirmation metaphorically equals lynching
>invasion of a weaker country metaphorically equals victory
> tax cuts for the wealthy metaphorically equals sound economic policy
> 30+ hours of filabustering metaphorically equals demonstrating that no work is being done by the senate
and the list goes on and on and on….., metaphorically, ad nauseum.
brother bill
November 17, 2003 at 11:05 am
5Whoa, dude! Where’s the warm, fuzzy Adam from WWDTM?
Harsh…
but it had to be said
Peace, bro
Curtis Erhart
November 17, 2003 at 11:29 am
6I don’t know what to find more ridiculous, the media’s constant harping about how liberal the media is, or the endless whining of a political party which controls the executive branch and both arms of the legislative branch about how oppressed and marginalized it is.
Ugh…
John Isbell
November 17, 2003 at 2:37 pm
7“I think Miller is a shameless dickwad”, I wrote, metaphorically giving him a well-deserved spanking and sending him to bed without any supper. Maybe tomorrow he’ll be older and wiser. Well, he’ll be older.
Murray
November 17, 2003 at 5:20 pm
8Haven’t we heard this all before? I remember another conservative at a judicial hearing, talking about a high tech lynching. That accusation and Orin Hatch threatening legal action against Anita Hill were all that was necessary to cow a democratic senate into voting for a Supreme Court Justice that many later publicly regretted.
Miller is just another Republican in sheep’s clothing. “And by their votes yea shall know them”
tess
November 17, 2003 at 7:07 pm
9miller is/was a dem? yea gods, what have they become! i thought he was a republican from the sheer idiocy of the comment alone!
Robert George
November 17, 2003 at 7:12 pm
10Adam,
It really ticks me off when you go after Democrats like this! How dare you deviate from the party line! You know this makes you a zell-out!
;-)
tim
November 17, 2003 at 7:52 pm
11First the 40-hour Senate slumber party, and now lynchings? It must be sweeps month at CSPAN2.
Emphyrio
November 17, 2003 at 10:49 pm
12I confess I’m relieved you stopped when you did.
I laughed, though.
aaronx
November 19, 2003 at 12:50 am
13It makes me happy that the voices I admire and wish were amplified more are, a, so well informed, and, b, so funny.
How many knee-jerk-reactionary conservative pundits can claim either? [I’m talking to you, ditto-heads]