Why is there no incisive Felberian political commentary today? Because I’ve spent my entire morning trying to deal with a little internet snafu. But maybe you can help.
See, I’m a man who conducts about 75% of his business via email. And as of yesterday, I found that about 50% of THAT could no longer be conducted. Why? Because of AOL.
AOL is bouncing back my emails to me, claiming, “The information presently available to AOL indicates this server is generating high volumes of member complaints from AOL’s member base. Based on AOL’s Unsolicited Bulk E-mail policy at http://www.aol.com/info/bulkemail.html AOL may not accept further e-mail transactions from this server or domain.”
Clearly, something’s amiss here. As the sole proprietor of felbers.net and its only email user, I MUST be responsible for this egregious violation. And I’ve never sent out a bulk email in my life. So, there are only three possibilities I can come up with:
1) AOL is wrong. Some automatic process has gone wrong and I’m the victim.
2) Someone has hijacked my domain and is sending out get-rick-quick schemes and penile enhancement ads in my name. And I’m the victim.
3) I have Multiple Personality Disorder, and one of my sub-personalities (named “Clyde,” let’s say) has been running an aggressive cybermarketing empire unbeknownst to me. And I’m the victim.
Assuming that #3 is not the case [Yes it IS, you fool! I’m here! I’m here!], I clearly need to consult with AOL on this li’l contretemps. But I’m not an AOL customer, and I’ve found that non-customer complaints will be dealt with… well, never. You’d think that there’d be some sort of law, regulation, or policy that would allow me to get my business accomplished, some sort of right of appeal, something…
There isn’t.
So I’m asking you, my readers who have AOL accounts, to take up my cause. Contact AOL. Your message is simple: “Free Adam’s domain now, because he never emails me.” Yes, that’s a slightly odd message. But persuasion hasn’t worked. It’s time to generate a little volume.
[By the way, if anyone has stopped receiving their regular notices about “Felber’s Own Herbal Sex Enhancers” and “Hirsute Hungarian Honeys Who Want to Meet YOU,” I assure you that we’ll be up and running again soon. - Clyde]
Fanny Roborat
21 comments
Brad Jobel
September 4, 2003 at 1:53 pm
1If the email address you are using in the forum is correct, then it isn’t the felbers.net server that AOL is referring too, it would be the earthlink server. In that case, you might have to take it up with earthlink, or get another email address at a domain that is not as well known. But if AOL is specifically refusing mail from felbers.net, then I would have to say it must be a right wing conspiracy.
P.S. Adam, Are you gonna be doing the wait wait live show in concord NH this fall?
John Isbell
September 4, 2003 at 3:15 pm
2Huh. He said Felberian. Huh.
Adam, I’m getting about four new email messages a day still bounced back to me that I never sent, from the SoBig virus a week or two ago. This could very well be linked to what you’ve run into. Oh, I’m on Earthlink. But I’m the guy who gives you a thought without any suggestion what to do about it [exit me].
Murray
September 4, 2003 at 4:28 pm
3Even though I have a scientific background, I am convinced that at least a large part of my computer is witchcraft. I have no problem envisioning the minions of AOL or Microsoft stirring in wing of bat and eye of newt (eeeech!)as they dance naked around a huge cauldron.
Dealing with AOL as if it were a normal brick and mortar business (non-witchcraft) just won’t work.(Trust me, my brother-in-law works at AOL).
Meet me in the graveyard at midnight and we’ll fix this problem.
John
September 4, 2003 at 5:05 pm
4Whos smtp server (outgoing mail server) do you use to send mail? If it is not something.felbers.net and someone else, it is the someone else who is being blocked by AOL. I just found an earthlink mail server being blocked by AOL for being a spam server. I contacted earthlink and got them to clear the problem with aol.
B.
September 4, 2003 at 6:05 pm
5The server that felber.net physically sits on may have multiple web sites on it and one of them could be the spammer.
Michael (in DC)
September 4, 2003 at 6:46 pm
6CLYDE! Glad you’re here–I’ve been meaning to talk to you…
I suspect the boxes at your warehouse must have gotten mixed up–my Felber’s Own Herbal Sex Enhancer has caused my body hair to grow at an alarming rate and I am emitting a strangely sweet odor.
Also, I have frequent, urgent cravings for goulash.
Oh, well, gotta go shave…again.
t.a.
September 4, 2003 at 7:54 pm
7you haven’t learned your lesson yet? what does AOL have to do until you learn to bow unto their power? you think it’s bad now? wait til they decide to get medieval on your ass! you even have the temerity to admit out loud (!) that you are not an AOL — you were expecting mercy? to be left alone? dream on, o thou soon to be squashed felberian bug.
you asked for it.
Anonymous
September 4, 2003 at 10:34 pm
8felberian
felberize
felberization
felbernication
felberish
felberonics
and my favorite: FELBER-CISE!
esp
September 4, 2003 at 11:11 pm
9Well, maybe if the Felberian persuasion is not working you should use the O’Reillyian persuasion.
Wendy
September 5, 2003 at 2:00 am
10I have had my earthlink address stolen before and used for spam. I found out when some of my e-mails about penis enlargement got returned to me as undeliverable. So it’s a possibility that someone has done the same to you.
The other possibility is that AOL sucks. Actually, it’s not just a possibility, it’s a proven fact. You need a new provider.
Dee
September 5, 2003 at 8:18 am
11Who would have thought that SOMEONE could make the United States Post office look good?
tim
September 5, 2003 at 8:37 am
12AOL is still smarting from losing the intra-company softball game to Time-Warner. You best tread lightly.
Robert (your Right-Wing pal)
September 5, 2003 at 4:39 pm
13Ummm…is it just coincidence that you can’t spell “A-S-S-H-O-L-E” without “A-O-L”?
Just a thought.
Kris
September 5, 2003 at 4:47 pm
14I think John Isbell is on the right track - thre’s a decent chance that the Sobig.F’ing virus was using your address as a forged ‘From:’ address in e-mail headers, and thus suffered the wrath of AOL’s spam filters.
If you’re using whoever@felbers.net, you might be screwed. It doesn’t look like AOL has any sort of remedy options in their Bulk E-mail policy - you may never be able to get your domain unblocked (unless your Free Felber campaign works). You may want to contact whoever does your web hosting to see if they have any bright ideas.
If you using whoever@earthlink.net, then you should certainly contact Earthlink and see if they can do anything about it. I would imagine Earthlink has enough sway in the marketplace to get AOL to pay attention to them. (Seems like John had good success with that).
I wish I had a solution for you, unfortunatley, you’re working with forces beyond control of most mortals.
John Isbell
September 5, 2003 at 6:41 pm
15B.: “The server that felber.net physically sits on may have multiple web sites on it and one of them could be the spammer.”
This is a wonderful sentence. I can’t stop picturing Dickens reading it.
brooke
September 6, 2003 at 1:11 am
16you’re a victim of SoBig. As am I. It hijacked BOTH of my business email addresses.
David Stenger
September 6, 2003 at 3:18 pm
17Tell alabanza.com (I assume this is your hosting provider based on my research) that they need to stop running an open relay, which is why AOL would be blocking you. Your hosting provider has probably already fixed this. They just need to contact AOL. AOL uses several mail servers, and some may not be blocking you. Just a tip.
Nice Blog!
Tom Burka
September 6, 2003 at 6:37 pm
18John Isbell, HI!
Adam, we’re very sorry about your AOL troubles, but at least the comment section is kind of like a cocktail party.
I think John may be right, the earthlink server suggestion may be right, and I don’t think you appreciate how difficult it is for an AOL customer to straighten out problems with his own account. (”There’s nothing wrong with my account, it’s this other guy. No, he has account at another ISP. No, I’m not sure what ISP it is, I just want you to help him. . . .”)
adam
September 6, 2003 at 7:32 pm
19Thanks for all the advice, y’all.
David might be right about the multiple servers - I haven’t had an email bounced back in 24 hours.
To clarify - Yeah, I have an earthlink account. But I use my felbers.net identity for most of my business.
But as I said, it might be fixed. Or perhaps the bounceback emails simply aren’t reaching me anymore. I’ll know for sure when I either start getting replies or stop getting jobs.
Bob Balaban
September 7, 2003 at 10:13 am
20Make sure that the server which hosts your .net site is not an “open relay” for smtp mail. It could be that the computer itself is being used to anonymously send mail by unscrupulous types, and AOL is simply tarring you with the spammer brish (how Ashcroftian!)
Karsten M. Self
September 7, 2003 at 10:23 pm
21Adam: AOL’s been blocking a lot of legitimate mail, for quite some time.
See my homepage for a brief comment. In my case, I can’t mail my own Mom. Not because the server I’m on has spammed, but because, well, in AOL’s esteemed opinion, it might.
OK, men, cut off your penises now, because, well, you might rape. After all, you’ve got the equipment for it. (Cue tape for rejoinder in interview “well then, ma’am, by the same logic, you must be a whore”).
The problem with AOL’s actions is that AOL users are unaware of them (my mom and several friends who help her out with technical issues certainly don’t understand what’s going on), and, well, there’s this little bit about common-carrier status and responsibility in 42 U.S.C. section 202 http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/47/202.html
Worse: there are some rather practical ways to deal with spam.
Who all’s been caught by this? Many individuals, ISPs, and even entire nations.
My recommendation: publicize the problem, write your congresscritter, attorneys general, etc. And hit the press, ‘coz this is going to get worse before it gets better.