I’ll be out all day today, but I’ll leave you all with a thought or two…
Headline:U.S. Murder Rate Rose in 2002; Violent Crimes Fall
This is good news, right? Or is it just that, as a nation, our aim is improving?
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Conservative Republicans have to make up their minds this week. Is it possible to maintain both of the following positions at the same time?
1) The removal of the Ten Commandments monument from the Montgomery courthouse is a tragedy that will hasten the moral decay of this great nation.
2) Arnold Schwarzenegger, who once bragged in an interview about sleeping around, “grass and hash” use, and indulging in “gang bangs” would make a great Governor.
That’s going to make some conservative heads explode in the coming weeks. Are they seriously going to advocate a return to traditional values while cheering on the campaign of a man whose stance on tolerance is, “I can look at a chick who’s a little out of shape and if she turns me on, I won’t hesitate to date her. If she’s a good fuck, she can weigh 150 pounds, I don’t care.” Add a “thou” or two, call it Number 11, and stick it on the monument.
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Yet another national misfortune has been magically transformed into a windfall for Bush’s funders. But while I’m going to spend a couple of days depressed about the new easing of pollution controls, the shoddy rationale for which was provided by the blackout, things could be worse: What if Bush had gotten major donations from the Funeral Directors’ Lobby or the National Beat People On the Head With Sticks Foundation? We’d be a-goner.
Fanny Roborat
14 comments
Erik
August 28, 2003 at 2:12 am
1They might already be worse. It would certianly explain his optimism about the mess in Iraq. Do they give out development contracts for replacing mass graves with non-mass graveyards?
Miel
August 28, 2003 at 2:38 am
2Hey–didn’t you notice that, although he uses the word ‘fag’ he identifies himself with gay people and seems critical of gay stereotypes?
In any case…I think there should be a statute of limitations on stupidity.
I think it’s becoming even more hilarious that the Republicans endorse him. And that alone makes it worth it.
Marla
August 28, 2003 at 3:14 am
3I guess this is the kind of morally upstanding hero we need to protect us from loathsome sybarites like that Bill Clinton guy.
natalie
August 28, 2003 at 6:54 am
4I was going to make a rather low-brow Arnie joke but I just can’t do it following a comment that uses a word like, “sybarite”. It seems wrong, somehow, like swearing in front of your grandmother.
Pah - all this naughty humor going to waste. (Who am I kidding - it wasn’t all that funny in the first place.)
Tiffany
August 28, 2003 at 8:27 am
5I tend to think the National Beat People On the Head with Sticks Foundation may have an actual application for the majority of the American population. Forget Bush….go for the layperson.
ttam117
August 28, 2003 at 11:48 am
6Does the NBPOHWS have a web site?
Landis
August 28, 2003 at 11:50 am
7Please tell me I was hearing things while listening to my radio this morning…
Arnie:
“Gay marriage should be between a man and a woman”.
Murray
August 28, 2003 at 12:39 pm
8Embracing opposing ideas generally leads to mental dissonance. However that requires the one thing Republicans are missing. A brain.
What they say, and what they do, have always been diametrically opposed.
Chicory
August 28, 2003 at 1:15 pm
91. Glad to hear that murder is no longer a “violent crime”. That should improve our world standing.
2. But Arnie is a *reformed* sybarite. You know, like P.J. ;-D
3. Actually, the easing of the pollution controls WAS for Funeral Directors and NBPOHWS. When the air gets bad enough:
a) people will die increasing the use of funeral direcotrs, and
b) trees will die causing sticks to drop onto the heads of people. That’s a form of beating, right?
natalie
August 28, 2003 at 6:17 pm
10Landis - that’s what I thought, too. I had to listen to it a second time…bit of a tough accent Arnie has sometimes, innit?
John Isbell
August 28, 2003 at 6:23 pm
11Landis (and natalie): that’s what he said. The Washington Post deletes the first word in their transcription, mysteriously.
John Isbell
August 28, 2003 at 6:24 pm
12How can I have a singular verb and “their” in one sentence? Aargh.
Answer: just as the GOP can deal with Adam’s Conundrum.
tim
August 28, 2003 at 8:37 pm
13“Gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”
Was Arnie the best man for David Gest?
Pat R.
August 30, 2003 at 2:43 pm
14According to a news report I heard this morning, the Governator (wannabe) took the ‘I didn’t inhale’ defense to the next evolutionary level: he dismissed his earlier tales of wild living by saying he’d made them all up.
Say what you will about the state of politics in this country, it’s a superb source of comedy.