Coming this fall to a quality bookseller near you:

“The Nth Degree” by Michael Crichton
There’s this thing that used to be okay, but then someone started messing with it in the name of this really hot new scientific idea. But now the thing’s gone totally out of control and people are dying! Can the guy and his ladyfriend reverse the damage in time?

“Motherfuckers – The Liberal Plot to Sodomize Your Mom” by Ann Coulter
The irrepressible Ms. Coulter is back, and she’s swingin’ a hard right at the lefties! Find out how forces in the Democratic Party successfully rewrote history to make Richard Nixon’s retirement look like a resignation. Read how liberal institutions (like universities and the print media) have made it impossible for people to get their points across without being forced to use so-called “logic,” reason,” and “proof.” Also, some compelling evidence that the real liberal agenda involves performing unspeakable sexual acts on your mother.

“The Rugmaker’s Stepdaughter’s Tale” by Anne Shiraz-Lee
A moving tale of a Turkish girl and her life growing up in a moderately successful rugmaking family near Istanbul. Enchanting, lyrical, and full of gentle insight. Nothing happens.

“I’m With You!” by Dick Morris
Morris gives us an insider’s view of the lies, distortions and incompetent bumblings of the party that’s not in power. Peppered with telling anecdotes about how Morris warned them, and how they would still be in power if they’d only listened. [Note: Actual incompetent political party in question to be determined at time of publication.]

“Heisenberg’s Accordion” by Hans Bennett Carpaccio
Very, very long novel about an 18th century monk, a Belgian prostitute, and a lonely man in modern-day Vienna. The delicate interweaving of the various plotlines and the arch references to quantum physics make this the perfect book to put on your shelf with every intention of reading someday.