DAYTON, Ohio - Jerry Springer says that his fame could help revitalize the Democratic Party if he is elected to the U.S. Senate next year.

“I could be an incredible voice in the Senate,” Springer told the Ohio Young Democrats Saturday at City Hall. “Why? Because the media will cover me every single day.”
- from AP

From the wires…

November 3, 2004 - More than Money Can Buy: Springer’s In!
Call them crude, call them opportunists, call them carpetbaggers, but you’ll have to call them “Senator” now. Or at least “Congressperson.” Led by Senator-elect Jerry Springer, a band of celebrated and/or notorious 1st-time politicians were swept into office last night, regaining the Democratic Party’s majority in both houses of Congress. “We’re not here to build the platform,” said a jubilant Springer, “we’re just here to sell it, baby!” Alongside fellow “PR Firster” Representative Darva Conger, the ex-talkshow host held a rally at…

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June 26, 2005 - Springer Forces Health Care Reforms
Testifying before the Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pension Committee, the 350-pound man shifted uneasily in his chair and pointed at his wife. “She don’t love me,” he complained, “and I gotta hear her listen to her in the other room every night, making love to that trashy lesbian lover of hers!” The lover in question, lapsed nun Helen McMunty, screamed, “Who you callin’ trashy?” and launched herself at her obese accuser while her lover sobbed. Congressional pages hurried to break up the fracas.
“Such was the scene today as Senator Springer (D - OH) made health care reform hearings into headline news. The hearings, which Springer dubbed “I’m Trapped in a Bad Marriage to Keep My Insurance” garnered the highest ratings in CSPAN history, forcing Senate Republicans to help pass universal heath coverage for all Americans…

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September 22, 2006 - Education Bill Passes, Frist Hospitalized
…was hit in the head by a flying folding chair during the hearings, which were led by Senators Springer (D - OH), Ramsey (D - CO), and Lobster Boy (D - OK). The fisticuffs broke out among two pairs of siamese twins who were testifying that their lack of education had led to them to sleep with each others’ spouses. “I tried to push Fristy out of the way,” said Senator O.J. Simpson (D - FL), “but I was too late. The important thing is that the bill passed, though.”

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July 16, 2007 - Revitalized Dems Raise Record Funds
…helped in no small part by freshman Senator Dogg (D - CA), whose fundraising video “Congress Bitches Gone Wild” has helped secure $150 million for the party. The video, which features prominent congressional Democrats baring their breasts in the Capitol, has sold 5 million copies.
“It was such a good cause, and it brought a lot of disaffected people into the political process,” said Senator Lewinsky (D - NY). Lewinsky appears in the video with her state’s senior senator, Hillary Clinton, with whom she is reportedly still not on speaking terms. “That’s too bad,” she says, “We actually have a lot in common politically. I mean, like, if you pay attention, you’ll see that a lot of the time it’s the exact same thing coming out of our mouths…”