Review of Major Rulings from the Supreme Court’s 2002-2003 Term

___________________________________________________________

Review of Less-Publicized Rulings from the Supreme Court’s 2002-2003 Term

Baird vs. Texas – Ruling overturned the conviction of a Laredo man in a robbery wherein the prosecution’s case consisted solely of the facts that “he was black, and he was nearby.”
Vote: 8-1
From the dissenting opinion (Clarence Thomas): “The man clearly looked guilty. This ruling opens the door for more and more “uppity” behavior from negroes everywhere. As Frederick Douglas might have written, black people don’t need your charity, they need a little discipline.”

Dawson vs. Texas – Ruling overturned the sentencing of a Lubbock man who was convicted of violating sodomy laws when he glanced at a policeman “all sexy-like and stuff.”
Vote: 7-2
From the dissenting opinion (Antonin Scalia): “If we give men the right to look at other men in a lewd manner, then aren’t we also giving men the right to anally violate dead, underage rabbits? I’m pretty sure we are. (Mmmm… furry, furry rabbits…)”

Tinsley vs. Bordick: Ruling upheld a discrimination suit wherein a Kentucky business was denying executive washroom access to anyone “darker than rye bread.”

Vote: 8-1
From the dissenting opinion (Thomas): “American blacks do not require access to the white man’s washrooms, drinking fountains, or bus seats. They require only dignity. And to stop being so goldarned lazy.”

Kradick vs. Texas: Ruling overturned a murder conviction against a Tomball man who opted not to sleep with his girlfriend, thus failing to impregnate her.
Vote: 6-3

From the dissenting opinion (William Rehnquist): “Have we come to place so little value on human life that we can deafen ourselves to the cries of an infant whose right to be conceived was so grossly violated? Shame, shame…”

Turling vs. Black People: Ruling found a new Texas law making black people illegal to be unconstitutional.
Vote: 8-1
From the dissenting opinion (Thomas): “Nowhere in the Constitution does it say that it’s “okay” to be black. This is affirmative action at its most dangerous. Honestly, I don’t know what the other guys were thinking on this one.”