That, above, is the melting point of silicon…
From CNN - “Illegally download copyright music from the Internet once, or even twice, and you get a warning. Do it a third time, and your computer gets destroyed.
That’s the suggestion made by the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee at a Tuesday hearing on copyright abuse…”
Me, I’m not a supporter of illegally downloading music - I know too many musicians, there’s too much guilt involved. Though when it comes down to it, I suppose that the contents of my hard drive qualify my computer for a trip to Orrin’s Big Bonfire. [Nowadays I’m more likely to visit Apple’s Music Store, which is supremely neat, fast, and I’ll guess will be the web’s most popular non-pornographic destination once it becomes available to PC’s this fall. But I digress…]
Still, destroying computers? My first thought is that Senator Hatch might be a bit resentful that his own song-writing efforts aren’t at the top of Kazaa’s most-downloaded list. Not even the groovin’ “America Rocks” from the “Rat Race” movie soundtrack.
But my second thought is that the columnists and pundits of this great land are going to need plenty of analogies to paint Hatch’s draconian remedy in the most vivid terms. That’s why I am today launching the Fanatical Apathy Analogy Sharing Service:
Attention Journalists! Below, you will find several analogies and metaphors that describe what destroying one’s computer as punishment for possessing illegal files is like. Please feel free to download or clip any of the below for use in your article/editorial/blog entry. Each analogy is popularly priced at 99 cents, or $1.50 for any three. Enjoy, and happy writing!
-Adam Felber
CEO, FA Analogy Sharing Service
Fanny Roborat
10 comments
Linkmeister
June 18, 2003 at 6:35 pm
1Somebody over at Corante’s Moore’s Lore column likened it to terrorism. Sounds good to me.
Senator Hatch has no intellectual honesty, as we all know from his flip-flops on how judicial nominees should be treated.
Bob
June 18, 2003 at 7:52 pm
2It’s, like, really stupid. (A favorite of the young folks.)
Rook
June 18, 2003 at 8:54 pm
3You could try and get up to 35% of my cerebrum, but you’d have to find it first. I’ve been looking for it myself for many years. You know what, just nothing up there. Seriously, it’s empty as a dry coconut, which is not to be mistaken for a coco bean-though I’ve made that mistake. Trust me on this, coco taste better made from the bean…………
Ah, what were we talking about?
Hey! Look! More WMD! Wow, these things are just laying all over the place.
CrackerHacker
June 19, 2003 at 1:33 am
4Any one want to hack back at these a–holes?
Tiffany
June 19, 2003 at 10:37 am
5Speaking as a Utah voter, I think it’s only worth saying that I didn’t vote for him in the last go-round and he certainly won’t be receiving my vote should he run again.
What an idiot.
Chicory
June 19, 2003 at 11:59 am
6Talk about a flame war!
Can’t wait to see how the effects state universities.
Anonymous
June 19, 2003 at 12:05 pm
7Is this the first step to further plans for “2577″-ing computers for visiting other types of sites deemed unacceptable to those in charge?
Murray
June 19, 2003 at 12:35 pm
8It would be like putting someone in jail for 25 years for smoking a joint. Oh, wait a minute, we do that. Thanks Orin.
Kris
June 19, 2003 at 1:19 pm
9In the highly unlikely scenario where a proposal like this actually becomes a law, how in the world are they going to inforce it? Do they honestly belive that I’m going to allow someone like the RIAA to scan my computer for material?
If the RIAA (or other enforcement body) circumvents my firewall and other security software, does that make them liable for property destruction? Especially if they destroy files that I created or legally obtained.
Finally, I just can’t see this happening without a whole lot of support from the software community. Sure, Microsoft will probably get (further) in bed with the RIAA and make such searches possible, but what about Apple? What about Linux? What about BSD, Solaris, and the BeOS? What about the old 486 lying in my basement running DOS 6.0?
From an ethics point of view, I don’t think this is a good idea. From a software point of view, I think this is impossible.
tim
June 19, 2003 at 2:20 pm
10I like Frank Zappa’s analogy quoted by Salon.com when he was talking about the PMRC in the 80’s - “The equivalent of treating dandruff by decapitation.”