WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The White House, noting a “substantial increase” in U.S. share prices since last year, said on Tuesday stock markets can sometimes indicate future economic growth…

Fleischer said economic signals remained mixed. “But the most important signal is that the private sector forecasters have a very strong view that there will be greater growth in the second half of this year,” he said.

REPORTER #1: Ari, what does the CEA say?

FLEISCHER: I don’t want to speculate.

REPORTER #1: Speculate?

FLEISCHER: Yeah. Moving on…

REPORTER #2: Ari, doesn’t the President have Council of Economic Advisors?

FLEISCHER: Well, yes. Sure. Who doesn’t? What’s your point?

REPORTER #2: Well, isn’t their job, I’m quoting here, “to provide the President with objective economic analysis and advice on the development and implementation of a wide range of domestic and international economic policy issues?”

FLEISCHER: Where are you going with this?

REPORTER #2: Well, shouldn’t the administration be basing their predictions on the CEA reports and the National Economic Council’s advice, rather than saying vaguely encouraging things based on stock market fluctuations?

FLEISCHER: …

REPORTER #2: Mr. Fleischer?

FLEISCHER: You guys know I’m retiring, right?

REPORTER #3: Yes, but about the CEA.

FLEISCHER: Right. Thing about them is that we just put a new guy in there.

REPORTER #2: - N. Gregory Mankiw -

FLEISCHER: Right, him. And they’ve been really busy streamlining the operation, installing phones, redecorating, changing the stationary, you know…

REPORTER #2: So you’ve decided to take the stock market, which classically follows the economy rather than leading, and cite its recent rise as vague evidence that the economy might be improving? Rather than putting together a detailed analysis that takes into account world market fluctuations, continued and still-rising unemployment, and unique events like, for example, the massive amount of taxpayer money recently pumped into the military-industrial complex as well as the multimillion dollar government contracts with energy companies for the redevelopment of Iraq?

FLEISCHER: Hey, the private sector is investing, that’s my point. They’re buying.

REPORTER #1: But Ari, you guys have been saying for years that the prosperity of the 90’s was an illusion fueled by people taking the stock market too seriously. Why should we suddenly take it seriously now?

FLEISCHER: Ouch. Good point. But those private sector forecasters must know something, right?

REPORTER #1: Something that you guys don’t know?

FLEISCHER: (Let’s hope.)

REPORTER #1: What was that?

FLEISCHER: Nothing.

REPORTER #2: Ari, you guys don’t have any actual good news, do you?

FLEISCHER: (la la la…)

REPORTER #2: Ari?

FLEISCHER: When I get out of here, I might get a pony.

REPORTER #1: (Let’s go, guys…)