To: All Republican Party operatives and spokespersons
From: Marc Racicot, RNC Chairman
Re: Stay the Course
CC: Pat Buchanan, Bill O’Reilly, Tucker Carlson, & etc.
Okay, calm down. Some of you may have seen that the Bride of Satan has announced that she has ruled out running for President in 2004 and 2008. On the surface, this is a serious blow to our game plan.
But don’t fret - the denial won’t make big headlines. So if we continue to identify Hillary as “the Democrats’ next presidential candidate,” we’re probably okay. So don’t panic. Once again, here’s the most recent version of the On Air Response Guide for those of you who’ll be on the front lines on the news networks and Sunday yakkers. Good job, all, and good luck.
- Marckie Marc
Fanny Roborat
7 comments
Susie
June 9, 2003 at 7:07 pm
1Haw!
Awesome.
Matt Sandwich
June 9, 2003 at 8:01 pm
2Who’s this “Hillary” person? Do Republicans not like her or sumthin’?
Jack
June 9, 2003 at 8:37 pm
3nice one…. more true then I wish to think
p-slim
June 10, 2003 at 1:34 am
4Well written you liberal, pinko, bed-wetting commie (kidding about that stuff, just wanted to say it once in a sentence).
Ali G
Chicory
June 10, 2003 at 9:45 am
5Thank you, thank you, thank you, Adam. As usual, brilliant and right on target.
pablo
June 10, 2003 at 9:25 pm
6just how DO you get ahold of all these top secret RNC documents?
Linkmeister
June 11, 2003 at 3:50 pm
7Pablo, it’s either highly-placed HUMINT or new microchips he’s embedded in RNC folk while they were buying new puppies.