“We have to eliminate the safe havens where the terrorists are, and Iran of course has some of the al-Qaeda members.” The US accuses Tehran of working towards building nuclear weapons - a charge Iran denies.
- from the BBC
From: Paul Wolfowitz, Deputy Secretary of Defense
To: Certain Trustworthy PR Personnel
Re: The New PR Roadmap
Great work, everyone, on the first phases of TerrorWar III: Iran. You’ve all really done a bang-up job of Afghanistanizing the place in the public mind. Keep it up. Remember we’ve got the whole Scary Turban Angle to work (see Appendix D of your manuals. Wow, Kabul seems like years ago, doesn’t it?), which is something we had to do without in Iraq.
One caveat, though, and this comes directly from Rummy - No more straight cut-n’-paste from the Iraq saber-rattling. Yeah, I know it’s a similar situation, but simply replacing Q’s with N’s doesn’t cut it, folks. Write new stuff, leak, repeat.
Anyway, here’s some of the major developments from the ol’ think tank. We’re hoping it’ll help you help us keep the machine a-rolling.
Saudi Arabia: We almost made them the next target, but then someone pointed out that we’d be attacking our own military base. Ooops! lol! Fortunately, we got right on it - we’re pullin’ out, problem solved. Pull-out might take some time, though, so we’re going to keep ‘em at Number 4 on the Hit Parade for now.
Syria: “Hey, they’ve got Saddam’s WMD’s!!” I could kiss you guys for keepin’ this one alive! Sure, Sharon thought of it first, but you guys gave it legs. Kudos. Keep it up, but on a low flame. They’re easy pickings (”between Iraq and a Hebe place.” rotf! That’s Cheney’s, not mine…). Think of them as a snack that we’ll eat if it looks like we’re gonna have to go a few hours between meals. With that in mind, new Code Name: “Tabouleh.” Haw! 
Who says the DoD doesn’t have fun?
North Korea: Stand down. A reminder - these guys are for real. They got real nukes and a real army. So as far as we’re concerned, Rummy says we have to consider them part of “Operation Let’s Hope They Go Away.” Keep your eye on the ball, folks.
Well, that’s it. Let’s keep that chatter going, and I’ll see you all at the big Bechtel bash next weekend. Party on, DoDlings!
-Wolfie
Fanny Roborat
5 comments
Chicory
May 27, 2003 at 3:24 pm
1Wolfie-
No problem. That Syria thing is an easy one. How did you like our “smuggling gold out of the country” event? Boy, did the media love it! They’ll be chewing on that one for at least a month.
We’ll get right on that tabuleh and turbans thing. Glad you like it.
DoD who?
C.
May 27, 2003 at 9:16 pm
2That’s the Department of Defense. Ya know, the department that responible for our entire military, nukes and all?
Chicory
May 28, 2003 at 8:50 am
3I’m not a DoDling, I’m a DoDette ;-D!
amazilia2
May 28, 2003 at 10:31 am
4Felber, you’d be funny if you weren’t sooooo scary & so right! Keep up the goose bumps!
lp
May 28, 2003 at 2:11 pm
5Hey, here’s a winner for the Cynic Award of 2003:
Michael Deaver, former deputy chief of staff under Reagan, weighs in on the state of media and the Bush administration’s manipulation of such (Jim Lehrer NewsHour, May 23)
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/media/jan-june03/presimage_05-23.html
“MICHAEL DEAVER: Eighty percent of the public gets all their information from television…
.. it better be interesting, entertaining, look good or they’re going to switch off and watch something else.. it has to be believable or the people are going to say it’s not real.
..And they understand that because people get their information from looking at that box, those people in the White House are filling up that space around the box so it amplifies whatever the president is saying. So they’re seeing and hearing it.
TERENCE SMITH: The public doesn’t find this as cynical or manipulative?
MICHAEL DEAVER:I hate to tell you this, but television is an entertainment medium, not a news medium. “