“I am proud of the work this agency has done,” said Christie Whitman as she resigned today, “Our work has been guided by the strong belief that environmental protection and economic prosperity can and must go hand-in-hand.”
This truth of this precept is pretty undeniable, seeing as both the economy and the environment have been flushed, hand-in-hand, down the proverbial shitter.
Just in case Bush’s feelings about Whitman and the environment were unclear, the day of her sendoff also features headlines about the passage Bush’s forest-thinning initiative and Jeb Bush’s postponement of the cleanup of the Everglades.
According to our President, the forest-thinning bill, which will encourage more logging on federal lands, is “good, common-sense environmental policy.” It’s hard to argue with this fire-prevention reasoning - if it ain’t there, it can’t burn. I don’t know why Smokey the Bear never thought of this particular environmental Final Solution.
[Bush: “Lookit this stuff! It’s a goldarned
tinderbox waitin’ to happen!”]
This sort of measure is a venerable American tradition, dating back to when there was the horrifying prospect of Native Americans having to suffer the indignity of living on extremely crowded reservations. A few smallpox-laden blankets later we were able to provide our native pals with a little elbow room. Here’s a modest proposal: Why not apply this shrewd strategy to our terror defense? Seems to me that Al Qaeda can’t take out a building that we’ve already knocked down. Take that, Osama!
Brother Jeb’s bill is just as savvy, ensuring that the Everglades will be packed with healthy, nutritious phosphorus until 2016 rather than 2006. It also may free the federal government from the annoying obligation to pay for half of the cleanup. That’s a savings of $4 billion. Barkeep, another round of tax cuts for everybody in the joint!
Given all these continuing triumphs, of course, it makes little sense that Whitman would want to leave. Maybe she’s just one of those women who can’t handle success.
Fanny Roborat
13 comments
Chicory
May 21, 2003 at 4:03 pm
1Considering her track record at the EPA, just imagine what she will be able to do on the home front.
Eva
May 21, 2003 at 5:07 pm
2Two words: Agent Orange.
t.a.
May 21, 2003 at 5:18 pm
3forest thinning is absolutely necessary. a century of blocking natural fires has left the forests full of material that shouldn’t be there. fire should have cleaned up things, but human intervention has screwed that up.
the trouble with the law bush is backing is twofold: one, it stops citizens from getting involved, mostly by reducing options to go to court (a favorite trick to stop environmentalists). also, the thinning will be done, if the administration gets it way, but timber companies — and they will have the right to harvest more profitable trees. you see, the stuff that needs to be thinned is raggy-ass crap, twigs and scrawny trees (that can’t grow very well cuz it’s too crowded). so they will cut down the big guys what will make them money — the trees that thinning is meant to benefit. oops, well that sucks.
anyway, the basic science is sound, and the need is real. it’s just the application of these that is totally fucked.
N in Seattle
May 21, 2003 at 5:36 pm
4Bush (in this context, even the prez’s name is part of the joke) clearly learned his environmental policy from an Army guy he didn’t serve with in Vietnam — “We have to destroy that forest in order to save it.”
Will-o'-the-Wisp
May 21, 2003 at 8:14 pm
5Does anyone in this world (or in any other) spell “phosphorus” correctly?
adam
May 22, 2003 at 12:37 am
6t.a. - I agree with you that thinning is necessary. But the Bush approach merely uses that fact to do something unhelpful and greedy. As you point out, it’s a gross misapplication of the principle, like giving cyanide to a patient who requires chemotherapy - yes, they need need a chemical treatment, but…
Ken, Just Ken...
May 22, 2003 at 4:35 am
7I think Georgie-boy might want the rest of the country to look like Texas.
Who needs trees or swamps when you can have miles and miles and miles of prairie brush?
West Texas, Simply gorgeous.
Don
May 22, 2003 at 12:23 pm
8Hey Will-o:
Only one — Want to join me?
“Ghosghorus” — “gh” as pronounced in the word “enough”.
Do you know what common English word is spelled “ghoti”?
N in Seattle
May 22, 2003 at 12:26 pm
9… “o” as in “women” …
ghani
May 22, 2003 at 1:23 pm
10.. “ti” as in “attention” …
Landis
May 22, 2003 at 5:33 pm
11uh… “fish”?
Gotta love English. No wonder why I’ve failed every time I’ve tried to learn another language. This one is more than tough enough to spend a life time on…
Murray
May 22, 2003 at 7:35 pm
12I wonder if James Watt is still available.
The James Watt national forest is a clear-cut landscape covered in oil derricks.
Rana
May 23, 2003 at 12:17 pm
13Well, how about…
Josephine Cooper “chief operating officer of the Allicance of Automobile Manufacturers, a trade association of car and light truck manufacturers”? (c/o Eric Pianin and Guy Gugliotta, Washington Post, via the Star Tribune (sorry for the lack of link, but this is — ironically — from the dead tree edition).
I don’t actually know anything about Ms. Cooper, but her affiliation just sends up warning bells, doesn’t it? How obvious can you get?
(I stand by my theory that Rove is dreaming up various small distractions to keep us from uncovering the big secret…)