MR. FLEISCHER: Now, if there’s nothing more…

Q: Ari, what about the reports that you’re resigning?

MR. FLEISCHER: I don’t have any information on that at the present time.

Q: No, honestly, it’s all over the wires. Apparently you made some sort of announcement this morning.

MR. FLEISCHER: I’m really not in a position to speculate as to-

Q: - It was your statement, Ari. So there really wouldn’t be -

MR. FLEISCHER: - whatever might have been said.

Q: So you’re not quitting?

MR. FLEISCHER: No. Absolutely not.

Q: So you’ll be continuing on as White House Spokesman.

MR. FLEISCHER: No, no I won’t.

Q: Ari, it has to be one or the other.

MR. FLEISCHER: Only if you assume a strict binary opposition between “continuing on” and “quitting.” I’m not prepared to do that at this time.

Q: Have you or haven’t you announced that you’re leaving your job?

MR. FLEISCHER: You’d have to ask the President about that. Obviously, talking about whatever I may or may not have announced would be speculation at this point.

Q: We just want to know if we should bring you a cake or something.

MR. FLEISCHER: Hey, it’s always a good time to bring me cake. [laughter] No, obviously, if I knew something about this, I’d [unintelligible]

Q: The reports say you’re leaving in August.

MR. FLEISCHER: If that’s what they say, obviously I’m not going to say that it’s wrong, but you’re not going to back me into a corner here.

Q: But you said it, Ari. You.

MR. FLEISCHER: We’re getting into a very gray area here. If I knew more about the situation, obviously I’d tell you. But I’m not going to speculate on that…

Q: Ari, could you just -

MR. FLEISCHER: Hi, this is Ari Fleischer. I’m not here right now, but feel free to leave a message at the tone.

Q: Ari -

MR. FLEISCHER: Beeeeeeeeeep.

[pause]

Q: Ari, we see you. You’re right there.

MR. FLEISCHER: Nothing gets by you, Helen. [laughter] Now, if there’s anything else, I’m here for you.

Q: Until August.

MR. FLEISCHER: We don’t know that… Look, I could say, “I’m leaving this job,” and you guys would report that, obviously, or I could say “I’m staying,” and then that would be Page 1 news, but either way, we’d still just be speculating here. And I’m not prepared to do that.

Q: Jesus, you really do need a break, don’t you, Ari?

MR. FLEISCHER: I’m dying inside.

Q: What?

MR. FLEISCHER: I said I’m not prepared to speculate -

[etc.]