It’s spring, and eager, coltish young 1st-term Congresspersons frolic and gambol among the cherry blossoms, scurrying and circling the more senior lawmakers, eager to please and impress, honing their skills and trying to make their marks in the vernal sunlight.

They bolt onto committees, exuberantly push forward the bills they’d promised last fall, play and tussle with each other in ancient rituals that will help prepare them for legislative maturity and the cold winters ahead.

All except Katherine Harris. Where is she? Where’s Katherine?

Let’s see if we can find her.

The older members of the herd have provided her with a website, and feathered it nicely. But she doesn’t seem to be there: We look and see that other Congressional young have been industrious with theirs - some random visits finds them bustling with activity here, here, here, and here. But Katherine’s nest looks like she hasn’t visited at all! In fact, it’s almost like some sort of decoy, a placeholder of sorts, for a home that hasn’t been moved into…

Moments later, we find confirmation! Look at that - it IS a decoy! Katherine has not been there.

We know she’s been in Washington, though. There are telltale markings - a voting record. Looking at the roll call votes of the entire herd, we see that Katherine has been there. Still she’s hard to track, as she’s voted with the majority of her herd every single time. This startlingly beautiful form of political camouflage is not unknown in Washington, and Katherine seems to to have a natural gift, which will serve her well in later terms. Still, there’s no record of her having spoken yet, her distinctive, nasal cry has not been heard echoing across the steeply layered mesas of the House.

Lets go to Florida!

Deep in the swamps where she was spawned, we have some hope of finding Katherine. Sometimes new lawmakers take some time to fully emerge from their electoral chrysalis - there’s much to be done, a pre-legislative learning process as the young gather the information they need to be effective in their new environment….

A success! Katherine has been sited at at the Arcadia Rodeo. Unfortunately, her appearance there is brief, and there’s no indication that she’s been doing anything that will help us locate her upstream in Washington. Still, we managed to get a picture!


[A local farmer herds Katherine
Harris towards her pen.]

It’s a brief sighting, and we start to despair of locating Katherine, despite her sharp profile and distinctive, garish facial coloration. We start to wonder if Katherine Harris is just a myth, a story passed down from generation to generation at campsites, a sort of swampland sasquatch. But just as we abandon all hope…

Here she is!

That explains everything: A young legislator needs cash to survive, and Katherine is locked in a frantic struggle with her litter-mates for scavenging rights on the carcass of her dead grandsire.


[An amazing adaptation may allow Katherine to
feast on her ancestors literally years after their death!]

It seems that Katherine has lost this battle, but she’ll live to fight again. And the mystery of her absence from the games of the other 1st-term congresspeople now makes sense. Some day, when she is ready, we may see her there on the plains of the Capitol, proudly galloping with her herd. She’ll have more time than most, as she’s found favor with some of the alpha males of the herd. But for now we can only watch Katherine’s slow progress from a distance and marvel at the wonders of the glorious, infinitely variegated ecosystem that is… Washington D.C.

Next: More Amazing Adaptations; Henry Hyde’s incredible use of “vicarious mating.”