When we lost the Turkish Parliament vote, we demanded a do-over. When France signaled their intractability, we yelled, “Aw, nuts to you! We were only pretending to like you anyway!” And now that it looks like we won’t be getting those extra Security Council votes, well, we’re just gonna take our ball and go home. We’re not playing anymore. Stupid votes. Stupid, stupid UN. We hate you. You’re not the boss of us. We can go to war anytime we want to…

This new wave of diaper diplomacy has appalled even the senior Bushes, prompting our President’s father to issue an amazingly under-reported verbal spanking to his ill-behaved boy (at my alma mater, no less!).

George Sr., you’re not alone. This is understandable - we all know what it’s like when our kids go through a difficult phase and embarrass us in public. Of course, most of us don’t give our poorly-behaving kids complete control of the most powerful and deadly military force in the history of the world. Even Dr. Spock thought that was a no-no, advising, “Poor behavior should never be rewarded by putting the child in charge of a massive arsenal and thousands of highly-trained military personnel who will obey the child’s every whim.” How right he was. So George, you’re kind of on your own on that one.

As for the rest of us, let’s be patient. Papa George may yet sway his tantrum-prone progeny. We might get it right. There’s still time, not much, but let’s remember we’re not actually at war yet.

And we haven’t threatened to use nuclear weapons yet either, so that’s a positive thing. But if Saddam Hussein “double-dog dares” us to, head for the shelters.