I’ve got far too much to do today to treat this appropriately, so let’s consider this a mental bookmark for future fun, all right?
Prime Minister Tony Blair has offered a new set of conditions for Iraq to adhere to in order to avoid an international pantsing. Among these labors from Labour is the demand for “a television appearance by Iraqi President Saddam Hussein in which he renounces weapons of mass destruction.”
This has got to be the first time that any diplomatic effort has demanded a TV appearance, and it’s a dangerous precedent. You can bet that in future negotiations the Ayatollah Khameni is going to want to be a contestant on “Fear Factor,” while Kim Jong Il is going to absolutely beg us to “force him” to sing “It’s Not Unusual” on the worldwide airwaves.
And if that happens, dear lovers of freedom, then the terrorists have truly won.
Fanny Roborat
14 comments
Don
March 12, 2003 at 3:25 pm
1No matter how bad it seems to get, it always gets worse, doesn’t it?
Have they, at long last, no humanity??
Ras_Nesta
March 12, 2003 at 3:44 pm
2I immediately thought of the drunk-driving test Steve Martin took in “The Man with 2 Brains” movie!
*****************
(As well as I can remember:)
“OK, walk on your hands!”, the Austrian cop demands.
Steve as Dr. Huferrer complies.
The policeman throws Steve 3 balls. “Tapdance, sing, and juggle.” he demands.
“Man, these Austrian drunk-driving tests are tough.” Steve complains, as he does all 3 simultaneously.
Bob Ully
March 12, 2003 at 4:20 pm
3For those old enough to remember: Rumsfeld is like Earl Butz with an army.
Landis
March 12, 2003 at 4:50 pm
4I am SO glad that I’m not the only one who heard this news this morning. I really thought I had dreamt that when my clock radio tried to wake me up this morning. Wow.
BTW, thanks for the term “International Pantsing”. I do believe I’ll be using that in the future.
Miel
March 13, 2003 at 1:10 am
5I too was puzzled by the Saddam TV appearance portion of the new plan. I was thinking that maybe they had in mind a new way to get Saddam to leave Iraq peacefully–offer him his own sitcom. Or maybe a talk show? See people think he’s after power but it’s really fame he has craved all this time–hence the many paintings of him. But I hear that he really wants a regular part on ‘All My Children.’ He’s going to be Erica Kane’s new love interest.
ghani
March 13, 2003 at 7:24 am
6Could we maybe get shrub or Blair to renounce WOMDs on TV. Actually I think the radio would be enough for me, I don’t really want to look at one them. Then again publishing a paper would be nice. I don’t really like to listen to shrub.
Chicory
March 13, 2003 at 10:20 am
7What? Are you nuts? Talk about weapons of mass torture!!!!!!!!! Oh, the inhumanity.
craig
March 13, 2003 at 10:45 am
8Kim Jong Il on Star Search…what a visual!
On second thought, how different is it from our own national presidential primary campaigns where candidates do their own song and dance routines? Well, for one thing, Mr Kim would admit that it was “for entertainment purposes only.”
I think this show of world leaders on TV (or Anshell Media) is a winner. It could be more popular than the Eurovision Song Contest (the show that brought us ABBA and Riverdance).
Another idea: let’s Bush, Rove, Saddam, and Chirac on the Jerry Springer show.
PS Glad to hear that you’re busy….must mean that you’re ready to post wedding pix.
Tuesday
March 13, 2003 at 2:11 pm
9If Saddam doesn’t wear green, will he get pinched?
dahlia
March 13, 2003 at 7:17 pm
10Blair has pretty much lost it, hasn’t he? If Saddam went on television to denounce WOMD, wouldn’t Ari then accuse any station which broadcast said denunciation as “pandering to Saddam,” and “giving Saddam a forum to broadcast his lies”? And what constitutes a denunciation of WOMD’s? “Weapons of mass destruction are bad. They’re really bad bad bad. Bad, I mean it. Much better are weapons of massive, but not mass, destruction, like your MOABs, n’est ce pas? Weapons of mass destruction, I denounce thee!”
On a monetary note, my son really, really wants a t-shirt with “As Seen in the Ankara Picayune” printed on it? Any chance you may consider a small but highly lucrative run of such shirts? He thinks that this sure-to-be-award-winning blog is the funniest political piece he’s read, and let me tell you, he’s a tough sell.
prmantis
March 13, 2003 at 8:04 pm
11hmmm… korean dictator… tom jones classic… some pastel images of waves crashing on the shore… a sloe gin fizz… not a bad night out if you ask me.
Linda
March 14, 2003 at 5:09 pm
12But the thing to remember is that Blair is much more familiar with BBC style tv than US commercial stuff. So just imagine: it could be something that works between, say Iron Chef and Queer as Folk–Saddam stuck in the Midlands in the midst of the most aggressively gay community in the UK and has to compete with the guys with the flashing knives! It could be priceless. Or then again, it could be one of the “it’s good for you don’t complain” documentaries on BBC1. . .
Adam
March 14, 2003 at 6:35 pm
13Dahlia -
Given the relatively weak sales over at the Fanatical Apathy Store, I’d wonder about the feasibility of printing a new line of T-shirts.
But I can email you a high-quality version of the image, suitable for taking down to one of your technically advanced T-shirt retailers…
dahlia
March 14, 2003 at 7:36 pm
14Adam,
That would be just swell. I would really love to get one printed for him.