Well now we’ve done it. Yes, liberals, I’m talking to you. For the past 40 years we’ve called every single bit of conservative penny-ante smear or casual demagoguery “McCarthyism.” But we couldn’t resist, could we? After all, until Watergate, it was the most prominent and useful bit of American lore for us to invoke - it was a chapter of our history wherein everybody agreed that those war-mongerin’ repressive xenophobes had taken their narrow and dangerous definition of patriotism and gone too far.

So we beat that drum, didn’t we? Beat it and beat it with a regularity you could set your watch by. Rights curtailed? “McCarthyism!” The word “liberal” is being used against us? “McCarthyism!?” Benny’s not allowed to sing “Satan’s My Best Pal” in the school talent show? “McCarthyism!” Yeah, maybe we had a point, but there were other terms we could’ve used. We could have saved it for a rainy day,held onto it, so that when we really needed it, it’d carry some weight.

Like, for instance, now.

When we talk about the McCarthy era, we tend to remember blacklists and Communist Party members and doctored photos and Joe McCarthy’s eyebrows. And most of us have probably conflated all that with poodle skirts and tiny televisions and Elvis getting wounded in Korea but being saved on the operating table by Alan Alda. We Americans get our history and our entertainment from the same device, which is about as sensible as keeping your compost heap in the fridge, right next to the fresh broccoli.


[Joe McCarthy: President or something…
or managed a ballclub… or hosted the
Ed Sullivan show, maybe.]

What we’ve forgotten about the era is that McCarthyism wasn’t about the big hearings or the direst accusations. It was a state of mind, like all “isms.” It was the toxic effect that McCarthy’s brand of “Americanism” had on the minds of all of us. The way that people no longer felt safe speaking up. Because even if you weren’t branded a Fellow Traveller, your lack of wholehearted support would at least get you at an Honorary Weak Sister badge.

It was a poisonous mindset, we all agree now. Nowadays we can see that America was engaged in a seemingly endless, nebulous war, that there was a very real threat, and that in all the hubbub we somehow lost sight of the fact that respectfully disagreeing with our government’s methods did not mean you were “soft” on the enemy. It was hysteria, and it was being fueled (or at best ignored) by those in the top level of our government because it made getting things done a whole lot easier. We realize that now.

So why, after several weeks of barroom shouting matches and watching and reading all the “debate” over the upcoming killapalooza in Iraq, have I not found any pro-war individuals who are willing to hear criticism of the Bush administration’s monumental diplomatic cock-ups as anything but unpatriotic, head-in-the-sand, lily-livered, Saddam-lovin’ subversion? Every call for the Bush administration to change its tone or patch up crumbling alliances or work with the U.N. is met with accusations of weakness or (more commonly) with all-too-successful attempts to turn the discussion to the topic of whether the speaker is aware of just how very bad Saddam really is.

And it oughta be obvious, right? Your kid gets into a fight or two at school, well, maybe he’s taking care of a bully or working out some issues or shoring up the inadequate supply of lunch money you’ve been doling out. No big deal. Even if he loses a friend or two, okay. People change. But when he stops getting along with several of his best friends and goes around screaming “I’m fine! I’m fine! I don’t need ANYBODY!” you’d probably start to worry, right?

We’re losing Turkey, fergoddsakes. Turkey. That’s like your kid losing the weird but loyal fat kid who used to see him as his only viable link to any kind of social life. Turkey! They were a big part of our invasion plan too. That’s like your kid losing the friendship of the weird fat kid the day before said fat kid’s Dad was going to take the two of them on that long-awaited and much anticipated trip to Disneyland. You’d say something if that happened, right? You know you would.

Only now you can’t. Or rather, you can, but all you’ll get in response is a lecture about your ignorance of Saddam’s extreme badness and how we never really liked the French/Germans/Russians/Chinese/Turks anyway and how the real problem might just be you, subverting our spirit and weakening our resolve as we prepare to march off with fewer and fewer friends towards an inevitable and righteous war.

Me, I’d like to cry McCarthyism. I’d like to be heard when I say that it’s possible to be a patriot and think that war with Iraq might be necessary and right, but also believe that we’re doing it the wrong way. And when I’m told that this belief makes me weak or traitorous, I’d want to shout “McCarthyism!” and have it mean something.

But I can’t. We can’t. We done used that one up already. Damn it, we should’ve just told Benny to choose a different song when we had the chance, or at least avoided using the M word on our protest. We should’ve saved that one.

We need a new word. And, god help us all, “Bushism” is already taken.