And most of Africa is in the Axis of “Remember Us? We’ve Been Killing Each Other For Years But We Have No Oil or Anything Else of Value So None of You Are Paying Attention”
Interesting that the “Axis of Evil” states are colored red. Didn’t the newscasters refer to the states’ whose electoral votes went to Bush the “Red States”? I’m beginning to see a connection.
What’s up with East Germany? As far as I know, they haven’t split back apart yet.
Also, there is the axis that ObD mentioned, more simply called the Axis of “We Have Our Own Problems Here” and thus including most of Latin America and Southeast Asia.
Oooh, new crayola colors like however the wind blows yellow, irrational red, white white white folks who think they know best and bleu. I prefer the new crayola machine that lets you mix old crayons together into a happy blend.
There was a computer game back in the late 80s called Balance of Power where you played as either the US or USSR (remember them, kids?) and had to respond to events and essentially make friends with the world. At the beginning of every turn, you’d be shown a map of the world with the countries colored in to show where the fell in the balance of power…
Adam, you really ought to work on a 2003 version of the game. Axis of “La la la, I can’t hear you!”
nothing like a little gallows humor to bring out the “ha ha–ouch”. or as they said on “i think we’re all bozos on this bus”, “ha ha–that was very logical.”
my fear is that pretty soon you’re going to have to zoom in on the US and you’re going to see states–or even counties–divided up into different colors. for instance, i know the western half of my state would be pretty much yellow while the eastern stuff would either be white (interesting color metaphor there) or, if the rhetoric keeps getting worse, red…
Here’s one of my state’s esteemed Representatives to Congress, Roy Blunt(R-MO Ozark Ham) on the subject of France the other day at the yearly State Republican Reach-around:
“Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day — the description was, ‘Never shot. Dropped once.’”
Blunt then attributed this line to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld:
“Going to war without the French is like going deer hunting without your accordion.”
Hee-haw-larious!! Blunt’s moronic “humor” is partly stolen from “Full Metal Jacket”, a movie by Stanley Kubrick. Here’s an excerpt from its script:
(The scene is a bunch of Marines sitting at a sidewalk bar, negotiating with a South Vietnamese pimp. “Cowboy” is the handle of one of the Marines):
**************************************
COWBOY
Five dolla each.
ARVN PIMP
Come on. She love you good. Boom-boom long
time. Ten dolla.
COWBOY
Five dolla.
ARVN PIMP
No. Ten dolla.
COWBOY
Be glad to trade you some ARVN rifles. Never
been fired and only dropped once.
“There was a computer game back in the late 80s called Balance of Power where you played as either the US or USSR (remember them, kids?) and had to respond to events and essentially make friends with the world. At the beginning of every turn, you’d be shown a map of the world with the countries colored in to show where the fell in the balance of power…”
I had that game. As I recall, the only two outcomes I could ever get were (1) the other power takes over the globe or (2) nuclear war. What was I doing wrong?
Your maps are nice, but are leaving out the respectful african nations which are in the ‘hey, let’s think about this’ group, as well as several south american countries. Something about being insulted that the disarmament wasn’t being trusted in Iraq by the US was the same disarmament they participated in themselves after agreeing to not have the weapons defined as weapons of mass destruction…
Turkey also was in the ‘hey, let’s think about this’ camp as well.
Fanny Roborat
21 comments
Anonymous
February 18, 2003 at 3:30 pm
1I like it.
What about Colombia? What Axis are they in and why are US soldiers killing and being killed there?
Osama Bin Deena
February 18, 2003 at 4:12 pm
2And most of Africa is in the Axis of “Remember Us? We’ve Been Killing Each Other For Years But We Have No Oil or Anything Else of Value So None of You Are Paying Attention”
Dugrless
February 18, 2003 at 6:17 pm
3Now it seems that Eastern Europe is the Axis of Shut up, Shut up, SHUT UP!!!.
I guess it’s nice to know that Don “Old Europe” Rumsfeld isn’t the only one speaking without being spun first.
craig
February 18, 2003 at 7:15 pm
4Interesting that the “Axis of Evil” states are colored red. Didn’t the newscasters refer to the states’ whose electoral votes went to Bush the “Red States”? I’m beginning to see a connection.
Will-o'-the-Wisp
February 18, 2003 at 7:47 pm
5What’s up with East Germany? As far as I know, they haven’t split back apart yet.
Also, there is the axis that ObD mentioned, more simply called the Axis of “We Have Our Own Problems Here” and thus including most of Latin America and Southeast Asia.
Ian
February 19, 2003 at 12:55 am
6Soon we’re going to have to get Crayola working on some new colors!
Anonymous
February 19, 2003 at 2:51 am
7Oooh, new crayola colors like however the wind blows yellow, irrational red, white white white folks who think they know best and bleu. I prefer the new crayola machine that lets you mix old crayons together into a happy blend.
Anonymous
February 19, 2003 at 9:43 am
8God! When will the space aliens attack us and wipe us all out like we deserve!
Chris
February 19, 2003 at 11:18 am
9There was a computer game back in the late 80s called Balance of Power where you played as either the US or USSR (remember them, kids?) and had to respond to events and essentially make friends with the world. At the beginning of every turn, you’d be shown a map of the world with the countries colored in to show where the fell in the balance of power…
Adam, you really ought to work on a 2003 version of the game. Axis of “La la la, I can’t hear you!”
r@d@r
February 19, 2003 at 12:40 pm
10nothing like a little gallows humor to bring out the “ha ha–ouch”. or as they said on “i think we’re all bozos on this bus”, “ha ha–that was very logical.”
my fear is that pretty soon you’re going to have to zoom in on the US and you’re going to see states–or even counties–divided up into different colors. for instance, i know the western half of my state would be pretty much yellow while the eastern stuff would either be white (interesting color metaphor there) or, if the rhetoric keeps getting worse, red…
and i wonder what washington, d.c. would be?
Raya
February 19, 2003 at 1:05 pm
11As a Kiwi, I must point out that my country is firmly in the axis of “Could you all please be a bit quieter? I’m trying to watch the America’s Cup.”
Ras_Nesta
February 19, 2003 at 5:57 pm
12Here’s one of my state’s esteemed Representatives to Congress, Roy Blunt(R-MO Ozark Ham) on the subject of France the other day at the yearly State Republican Reach-around:
“Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day — the description was, ‘Never shot. Dropped once.’”
Blunt then attributed this line to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld:
“Going to war without the French is like going deer hunting without your accordion.”
Hee-haw-larious!! Blunt’s moronic “humor” is partly stolen from “Full Metal Jacket”, a movie by Stanley Kubrick. Here’s an excerpt from its script:
(The scene is a bunch of Marines sitting at a sidewalk bar, negotiating with a South Vietnamese pimp. “Cowboy” is the handle of one of the Marines):
**************************************
COWBOY
Five dolla each.
ARVN PIMP
Come on. She love you good. Boom-boom long
time. Ten dolla.
COWBOY
Five dolla.
ARVN PIMP
No. Ten dolla.
COWBOY
Be glad to trade you some ARVN rifles. Never
been fired and only dropped once.
Laughter and derisive adlibs.
ARVN PIMP
(angry)
Okay, five dolla. You give me.
Adlibs.
COWBOY
Okay, okay!
Nick
February 20, 2003 at 12:40 am
13I’m moving to whatever country is first to claim axis of “what the hell???”
subversity
February 21, 2003 at 12:37 am
14You owe me a pair of pants, I laughed so hard I peed in mine.
nameless
February 21, 2003 at 4:33 pm
15“There was a computer game back in the late 80s called Balance of Power where you played as either the US or USSR (remember them, kids?) and had to respond to events and essentially make friends with the world. At the beginning of every turn, you’d be shown a map of the world with the countries colored in to show where the fell in the balance of power…”
I had that game. As I recall, the only two outcomes I could ever get were (1) the other power takes over the globe or (2) nuclear war. What was I doing wrong?
Crissa
February 22, 2003 at 4:18 am
16Your maps are nice, but are leaving out the respectful african nations which are in the ‘hey, let’s think about this’ group, as well as several south american countries. Something about being insulted that the disarmament wasn’t being trusted in Iraq by the US was the same disarmament they participated in themselves after agreeing to not have the weapons defined as weapons of mass destruction…
Turkey also was in the ‘hey, let’s think about this’ camp as well.
Cowboy Kahlil
February 22, 2003 at 5:54 pm
17Inexplicably, you left out Monaco, Massachusetts and Motown.
You must be some kinda bigoted ‘M’-ist, Mapboy.
BJ
February 24, 2003 at 1:40 pm
18Hey, is North Korea still part of the Axis of Evil? I though they were more like the “Axis of Vaguely Naughty” or something now.
Brian
February 26, 2003 at 3:35 pm
19Raya: I’m from the Axis of “The Kiwi’s can say anything they want, since LoTR was filmed there and their scenery frigging rocks!!”
Jonah
February 27, 2003 at 12:19 am
20Didn’t Dave Barry once say that Weasel is the funniest word in the english language? I believe this is supporting evidence.
All left wingers are hippies
June 8, 2003 at 10:19 am
21It should be “we suck”